It's dream time here on Viewtiful_Justin, and have I got a doozy for you today!
I dreamt that I was going to San Diego to visit my Uncle Howard. Pretty tame. But the night before I was supposed to leave, I realized we had a layover in Alberta, Canada. And I had no passport, but they assured me that if I wasn't getting off the plane and actually stepping on Canadian soil, I would be fine.
So I flew Southwest Airlines (my carrier of choice in real life--they take good care of the gays and they don't charge for bags...plus, their prices are impossible to beat). And I met this really nice older woman on the plane, big hair, big glasses, big front butt. She was so sweet, though. And I informed her that this plane was making a stop in Alberta. She said she knew that, since she bought a ticket, too, and that's where she was getting off.
I am an idiot, even in my dreams.
And then I think I fell asleep because the next thing I recall was getting out of the airport at San Diego. The ocean was washing up right against the doors to the airport, and I had to wade to the parking lot past a fat little black girl who was adorable and kept asking me my name. She asked her mother to bring her her voodoo doll, because I wouldn't tell her my name. So I ran. And right when I was about to call my Uncle Howard to let him know I was in town, he showed up.
Except he was 1980s Uncle with the long hair and the bad teeth and the whole nine yards. And we walked to where he had the car. I saw a guy carrying a jug of water and I shouted, "Hey, Nick!" because, as I explained to my uncle, every water guy is called Nick.
And it turned out to be MY Water Guy...Nick. He was in San Diego for something...and I got in his hoopty van that was full of junk, and rode off with him. We were talking about whether or not he liked his job. He told me he loved it. He seemed really happy and we were just chatting, and then we pull up to a stop light and our faces are really close (since the only place to sit was on the folded up back seat right behind his seat), and he kissed me.
It was awesome. And I was like, "Well alright then. That answers that question." And then we went to this hotel room. He kept trying to find out when he could nail me, and I was unavailable. I couldn't do it right then because of medical reasons or something...and this girl was in the room.
She was gorgeous! Wavy brown hair and a model's body, great smile, long legs, etc. And she says to the Water Guy, she says, "I want some honey, too!" as we're making out. So he gets a bottle of honey and startes dribbling it all over her, and the girl screams and runs away and is like, "That's not what I meant, bastard!" And so they're fighting and wrestling all in good fun, like they're siblings or something.
And then my Uncle comes in and I'm all naked and covered myself with a blanket. He's like, "Are you guys doing the dirty-dirty in here?" And I said no. Because, we really weren't. And then he left and I woke up...I think.
Weird. I told Robb about it this morning. He laughed really hard at the fat little black girl who wanted her voodoo doll. I am ridiculous when I'm asleep. Here's proof.
Out
Showing posts with label San Diego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label San Diego. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Top 5 Tuesday: Home Edition...
This week I have the honor of guest blogging over at Tearing Up Houses. The gracious and lovely Kelly thought so much of Top 5 Tuesday that she suggested I share it with her readers. So, upon her suggestion--a good one, I might add--this week I'm featuring the top 5 places I'd love to live. It seems an appropriate subject to piggyback off of last week's dreams of future jobs. I mean, what good is being a backup-dancing runway model who teaches college lit and blogs on the side if you have to do it in a location you hate? Right?
So, without further prattle on my part, I give you this week's Top 5 Tuesday: Home Edition!
5) London
This one used to be at the top of my list, but a lot has changed since high school--finding out it's gloomy there as a rule sort of put a damper on plans for Oxford. Being solar powered, I need my sunshine. The thought of waking up to fog-coated streets and buildings older than my entire native country is romantic. And having the world's largest Ferris wheel can't hurt! Don't even get me started on the accents! I could listen to a native Londoner read from the phone book and I'd be content, no matter the climate.
4) Toronto
There's something charming about Canada. I haven't quite put my finger on what it is, but it's sort of akin to that kid in the neighborhood who you know is just different enough from you that you'd get along great. Maybe he wears bright yellow velcro shoes and smells a little like a pine tree every day, but he's charming! But Canada is a big country, and picking a place within it to call home is almost as difficult as picking a place in the U.S., but my money is on Toronto. They've got great nightlife, culture, that CN tower dealy, and, like the rest of the nation, healthcare. That's a huge draw for someone without health insurance. *points at self* Plus, I hear it's a really diverse city that's friendly towards the gay population. I'm always okay with that.
3) Chicago
But Justin, you might say, don't you already LIVE in Chicago? Well, sort of. See, although we visit fairly often, we're still about 50 miles away. Honestly, I live in a cornfield next to a Wal Mart. It's a good hour to where we like to be. If I could live in the city, though, I'd be there in a flash. They've got Wrigley Field, Comiskey (don't get me started), Boystown, the Magnificent Mile, and the best pizza you've ever had! And that's not even mentioning the museums and parks and great places to people watch--OH! And Nookie's Tree, my personal favorite restaurant. I could go on and on! And here you sit wondering what two places I could possibly love more than Chicago!
2) San Diego
If you'd really like to know how I feel about San Diego, start by clicking [here]. I just got back from spending two weeks in this place in July. Anyone who regularly reads my blog is probably going, "Oh, gawd! Not this again!" Well, this again. I would move here in a heartbeat, because San Diego is the most beautiful place I've ever been. The people are friendly; the weather is perfect; the bay is gorgeous; the ocean is close enough to drive to; and the city is just chock full of things to do. Want food? Little Italy. Want a great view? Anywhere--but the best view is from the top of the Hyatt. Want nightlife? Gaslamp District. Ghosts? Old Town. Adventure? How about a harbor tour? And palm trees, palm trees, palm trees. It's so perfect there, even the bums smile. They've got great public transportation and even better destinations! I can't say with enough emphasis how much I would recommend living here! It's my favorite place I've ever been.
"But Justin, there's one more on your list," you say. "How can that be your favorite if there's something else at number one?" Well...
1) Anywhere with the boy
Crappy apartment in the Bronx? Fine. High rise in Montreal? Okay. Flat in China? Bring it on. As long as Robb is there with me, any place feels like home. It's a funny thing, finding someone who feels like home. We always tell each other before a big move that we can deal with anything and make any place feel like home as long as we're together. I know, it's sappy. I know, you're probably going to send me a carpet cleaning bill from barfing up breakfast. But it's true! I would live in Alaska for him if that's where he wanted to go. And I know he'd do the same for me! Anywhere on earth is home, as long as I'm with the boy.
And there you have it. My Top 5 Tuesday list of the places I'd most like to live. Join us next week when who knows what will happen! Top 5 flavors of pancakes? Maybe. Top 5 country songs to play backwards? Who knows? As always, I'm happy to take suggestions for list ideas. Thanks for reading, and have a lovely week!
Out
So, without further prattle on my part, I give you this week's Top 5 Tuesday: Home Edition!
5) London
This one used to be at the top of my list, but a lot has changed since high school--finding out it's gloomy there as a rule sort of put a damper on plans for Oxford. Being solar powered, I need my sunshine. The thought of waking up to fog-coated streets and buildings older than my entire native country is romantic. And having the world's largest Ferris wheel can't hurt! Don't even get me started on the accents! I could listen to a native Londoner read from the phone book and I'd be content, no matter the climate.
4) Toronto
There's something charming about Canada. I haven't quite put my finger on what it is, but it's sort of akin to that kid in the neighborhood who you know is just different enough from you that you'd get along great. Maybe he wears bright yellow velcro shoes and smells a little like a pine tree every day, but he's charming! But Canada is a big country, and picking a place within it to call home is almost as difficult as picking a place in the U.S., but my money is on Toronto. They've got great nightlife, culture, that CN tower dealy, and, like the rest of the nation, healthcare. That's a huge draw for someone without health insurance. *points at self* Plus, I hear it's a really diverse city that's friendly towards the gay population. I'm always okay with that.
3) Chicago
But Justin, you might say, don't you already LIVE in Chicago? Well, sort of. See, although we visit fairly often, we're still about 50 miles away. Honestly, I live in a cornfield next to a Wal Mart. It's a good hour to where we like to be. If I could live in the city, though, I'd be there in a flash. They've got Wrigley Field, Comiskey (don't get me started), Boystown, the Magnificent Mile, and the best pizza you've ever had! And that's not even mentioning the museums and parks and great places to people watch--OH! And Nookie's Tree, my personal favorite restaurant. I could go on and on! And here you sit wondering what two places I could possibly love more than Chicago!
2) San Diego
If you'd really like to know how I feel about San Diego, start by clicking [here]. I just got back from spending two weeks in this place in July. Anyone who regularly reads my blog is probably going, "Oh, gawd! Not this again!" Well, this again. I would move here in a heartbeat, because San Diego is the most beautiful place I've ever been. The people are friendly; the weather is perfect; the bay is gorgeous; the ocean is close enough to drive to; and the city is just chock full of things to do. Want food? Little Italy. Want a great view? Anywhere--but the best view is from the top of the Hyatt. Want nightlife? Gaslamp District. Ghosts? Old Town. Adventure? How about a harbor tour? And palm trees, palm trees, palm trees. It's so perfect there, even the bums smile. They've got great public transportation and even better destinations! I can't say with enough emphasis how much I would recommend living here! It's my favorite place I've ever been.
"But Justin, there's one more on your list," you say. "How can that be your favorite if there's something else at number one?" Well...
1) Anywhere with the boy
Crappy apartment in the Bronx? Fine. High rise in Montreal? Okay. Flat in China? Bring it on. As long as Robb is there with me, any place feels like home. It's a funny thing, finding someone who feels like home. We always tell each other before a big move that we can deal with anything and make any place feel like home as long as we're together. I know, it's sappy. I know, you're probably going to send me a carpet cleaning bill from barfing up breakfast. But it's true! I would live in Alaska for him if that's where he wanted to go. And I know he'd do the same for me! Anywhere on earth is home, as long as I'm with the boy.
And there you have it. My Top 5 Tuesday list of the places I'd most like to live. Join us next week when who knows what will happen! Top 5 flavors of pancakes? Maybe. Top 5 country songs to play backwards? Who knows? As always, I'm happy to take suggestions for list ideas. Thanks for reading, and have a lovely week!
Out
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Day 13 - Homeward Bound...
I woke up with a sore throat and shook my fist at L.A.
Our plane left at four, so we wanted to be at the airport by two. That meant half a day to kill before we left. We decided to see the things we wouldn't be able to see at home: Mission Beach and In-n-Out.
It was a gorgeous day at the beach, busy for what I would have expected on a Tuesday, and warm. Our luggage was in the car, and our feet were in the sand.
We wandered down past the area where we'd turned around a few nights prior. There's a point where the beach goes from nice and peaceful to a little bit ghetto at night. Bit in the day, there were people all over.
If you look closely at this photo, you can see a little toddler peeking out of that hole that hot dad is digging.
We people watched, tried to stay dry, and took photos.
Since it was still kind of early, there were shells people hadn't scooped up yet.
We wandered for a few hours just enjoying the last time we'd be able to wade in the Pacific for a long time. And when we were sufficiently hungry, it was off for food.
Yum. I miss it so much.
After that, we waited around in the rental car office for a ride to the airport, sharing the tiny space with this guy who had horrible B.O. It was great. Finally, we were off, though.
I started feeling like crap about this time...weak and dizzy with a headache.
Security was a breeze, so we ended up having almost two hours to kill. And what is there to do at an airport? How about...people watch!
So we did. Those two guys down the way were making eyes at us at one point. They were cute. And a cop kept coming to talk to that woman seated next to them. Apparently there was some problem he was trying to resolve. I couldn't really hear, and it was hard to pay attention to words when all I could focus on was how tall, dark, and handsome the cop was. Wow.
Before long, we boarded, and we were on our way home.
I said a little prayer as we left the ground, and settled into my seat. By now I was feeling like absolute garbage. I was so sick, my skin hurt. No lie. But I soldiered on taking photos as we left my new favorite place on the globe.
We swept out over the ocean and headed back toward land.
I took one last look at the bay:
Our original little bayside hotel is right there by the docks...
When we flew over Coronado, the scrubby little hills on one side of the beach finally made sense to me.
Enlarge this one...you'll see CORONADO on the beach.
I loved this shot of the bay bridge:
So pretty! And then it was cornfields and clouds as I tried not to die on the way home.
We passed this in the desert:
It looks like several tracks designed to test cars...but there were no major roads leading to it at all, just a tiny little building. I wonder what it was...
I was fading out, and Robb was scoring us extras by flirting with our gay flight attendant...but I managed to get a photo of one last sunset:
Goodbye, San Diego.
Hello, Chicago.
I stumbled along to our bags, ready to just curl up and die. We rode back to Robb's dad's house to get our car, which wouldn't start.
After that was all cleared up, I slept on the ride home, wishing I could float. I'm sure I had a fever, and I cursed L.A. the whole way home.
We got to bed finally around 2 AM, and I had to work at 7 the next morning. Isn't my boss lovely?
Yeah...but I made it. And I am finally getting over my cough. After what...three weeks? A month?
Remind me next time we go to California to stay away from L.A.
Overall, it was a great time. Thanks for coming with me, everyone!
Out
Our plane left at four, so we wanted to be at the airport by two. That meant half a day to kill before we left. We decided to see the things we wouldn't be able to see at home: Mission Beach and In-n-Out.
It was a gorgeous day at the beach, busy for what I would have expected on a Tuesday, and warm. Our luggage was in the car, and our feet were in the sand.
We wandered down past the area where we'd turned around a few nights prior. There's a point where the beach goes from nice and peaceful to a little bit ghetto at night. Bit in the day, there were people all over.
If you look closely at this photo, you can see a little toddler peeking out of that hole that hot dad is digging.
We people watched, tried to stay dry, and took photos.
Since it was still kind of early, there were shells people hadn't scooped up yet.
We wandered for a few hours just enjoying the last time we'd be able to wade in the Pacific for a long time. And when we were sufficiently hungry, it was off for food.
Yum. I miss it so much.
After that, we waited around in the rental car office for a ride to the airport, sharing the tiny space with this guy who had horrible B.O. It was great. Finally, we were off, though.
I started feeling like crap about this time...weak and dizzy with a headache.
Security was a breeze, so we ended up having almost two hours to kill. And what is there to do at an airport? How about...people watch!
So we did. Those two guys down the way were making eyes at us at one point. They were cute. And a cop kept coming to talk to that woman seated next to them. Apparently there was some problem he was trying to resolve. I couldn't really hear, and it was hard to pay attention to words when all I could focus on was how tall, dark, and handsome the cop was. Wow.
Before long, we boarded, and we were on our way home.
I said a little prayer as we left the ground, and settled into my seat. By now I was feeling like absolute garbage. I was so sick, my skin hurt. No lie. But I soldiered on taking photos as we left my new favorite place on the globe.
We swept out over the ocean and headed back toward land.
I took one last look at the bay:
Our original little bayside hotel is right there by the docks...
When we flew over Coronado, the scrubby little hills on one side of the beach finally made sense to me.
Enlarge this one...you'll see CORONADO on the beach.
I loved this shot of the bay bridge:
So pretty! And then it was cornfields and clouds as I tried not to die on the way home.
We passed this in the desert:
It looks like several tracks designed to test cars...but there were no major roads leading to it at all, just a tiny little building. I wonder what it was...
I was fading out, and Robb was scoring us extras by flirting with our gay flight attendant...but I managed to get a photo of one last sunset:
Goodbye, San Diego.
Hello, Chicago.
I stumbled along to our bags, ready to just curl up and die. We rode back to Robb's dad's house to get our car, which wouldn't start.
After that was all cleared up, I slept on the ride home, wishing I could float. I'm sure I had a fever, and I cursed L.A. the whole way home.
We got to bed finally around 2 AM, and I had to work at 7 the next morning. Isn't my boss lovely?
Yeah...but I made it. And I am finally getting over my cough. After what...three weeks? A month?
Remind me next time we go to California to stay away from L.A.
Overall, it was a great time. Thanks for coming with me, everyone!
Out
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Day 12 - Escape from L.A....
I tried to post this yesterday and as I was typing I found myself back on my home page with no post for some reason...so I'm going to try again. Forgive me if this one sounds a bit like I am sick of telling this story. I didn't even want to relive this day once, let alone twice...
I'll say it again: If you ever get the chance to go to Los Angeles, DON'T GO!!!!! It was the single most underwhelming, filthy, disappointing, ugly, cheap city I've ever been. Seriously. Skip it.
The day started out easily enough. Traffic into L.A. was surprisingly light. Even the morning radio show hosts we finally stumbled upon were surprised.
There was a little bit of fog once we got from El Cajon (where our hotel was) in towards the bay.
And, really, it was a pretty drive spent smiling at each other and loving that we were going to get to see our Marbles Kitty in one more day. Bittersweet, really. But finally we made it to L.A.
The air was yellow. No joke. There was trash everywhere. The graffiti was uninspired, ugly, and contained none of the pride and artistic flair of Chicago graffiti, and I'm being completely serious. It looked painted out of a hurried sense of duty and not out of any personal pride. I chalked all of this up to it being the outskirts or town...but once we got further in, it was no different.
This building lightened my spirits, though. How funny!
We decided to hit Grauman's Chinese Theatre first, so we could see the glitzy, glamorous Hollywood side of the city. Oh, how misguided we were.
The first thing we saw once we parked the car and ventured off of Orange Street was this:
Can you guess whose star this is? There were people openly weeping over Michael Jackson's star, and his offerings were overshadowing the nearby stars, covering up the likes of Queen Latifah.
Look at this one, for comaprison.
Poor Farrah. All alone witout a single flower...
But once we got past that crowd and past the shady people who were trying to sell the mourners bus tours ("See The King of Pop's Famous Haunts!" So classy.) Grauman's Chinese Theatre was actually pretty cool.
This is where they have the handprints of celebrities in cement. It sort of made them seem less untouchable and more like regular people who just had really great jobs.
...or robots.
The Governator has surprisingly small hands:
I was shocked they weren't giant man paws.
We waded trough a sea of Asian teens who were, for some reason, crowding around the Harry Potter slab.
I was unaware of this particular cultural obsession...but seriously, without any exaggeration, we were the only non-Asians trying to take a picture of the thing. And they didn't seem interested in anything else there.
After that, we decided to hit the Walk of Fame, where they have the stars with celebrities' names on them. We saw everyone from:
to:
(one of my favorite authors)
to
Seriously. Godzilla had a star. I took a ton of photos. So if there's a star you'd particularly like to see, let me know and I'll email it to you. I've got about 300 of them.
(For the record, I just had to upload this whole post to a new editor because it kept trying to underline my text for no reason and there was no way I could shut it off. Once I'm done with this post, I'm going to drink a bottle of wine. Cripes!)
Oh, let me tell you why L.A. was super underwhelming. You know how you expect The Walk of Fame to be glitzy? Glamorous? Hip? Trendy? You picture cute shops and high class bars and stuff along the way, right? No. We thought so too, and we were so wrong. Past Grauman's, it was like souvenir shop, seedy bar, porn shop, lingerie store, souvenir shop, porn store, seedy bar, seedier bar, porn store, dancewear shop, souvenir store, souvenir store, Mc Donald's, porn store, empty storefront, etc. Oh, and outside of every souvenir shop and some porn stores were people selling bus tours, pushing them on you and not taking no for an answer. That, or bums. And this was a MONDAY!
There were times when I thought I was about to get mugged. It was seriously scary. What the hell happened to make this area so absolutely shitty? Ugh. After about an hour in town we both had headaches (and I don't GET headaches). We decided to leave the area to try to visit some of the studios.
That area was actually a bit nicer. We went to Warner Bros.
No famous people to be found. The studio tour was $45 a person, which isn't that bad of a price, but it was our last day of vacation and we were quite poor, still. We most definitely didn't have $90 to blow. I mean, we ate at McDonald's in downtown Hollywood, for god's sake!
So we left from Warner and went to see if we could find Disney. We sort of stumbled into it.
There was no one to stop us at the guard hut, so we just follwed the visitor parking signs and got out of the car. We didn't know quite what to do, so we headed for the most impressive building there to ask for a tour:
Yes, those are the 7 dwarves holding up roof. It was really impressive, actually. Check it out.
So we went in, and there was a security guard named Jeff on duty. We asked him about tours. He said we could go in any building on the lot except this one, since it was the executive building. A well dressed man I didn't recognize got out of the elevator and said hello to us...he sort of looked like he expected us to ask for an autograph or something. And after smiling awkwardly for a second, he walked off. No idea who he was.
So, we were still incredulous about being allowed to just stroll around. I asked, "So, we can just wander around?"
"Yeah."
"Wow...Warner Bros wanted $45 for a guided tour. This is great."
And he stops...looks at us, and goes, "Who aer you here with?"
We just looked at him blankly. "Ummm...no one?"
I told him we just drove in and parked...that no one asked us to stop at the hut. He looked REALLY confused, like his brain just did a 1080 or something...
"Oh, then you guys can't actually be here at all."
Robb asked if we could take a few photos of the courtyard and then leave. He said as long as we promised to ge back in the car and go. So we did. I told him he could put my arm behind my back and lead me to my car if it would make him feel better. He said he didn't really care what we did, that we could probably wander around because he wouldn't run to catch us in this heat.
Ha!
We just took some pictures and got back in the car like nice, honest tourists, sadly. And then we looked at eachother and went, "DANG IT!!! We could have just wandered around Disney!" Yup...we're too honest.
So we drove around looking for the Hollywood sign, going past Capitol Records:
Very famous.
We fially found the sign (it's harder to find than you'd think):
It was also dirty and underwhelming. Smaller than I thought it would be.
We had to print out our boarding passes for the next day, so we were pressed to find a library by 4. I entered a search for libraries into our ever-so-trusty VZ Navigator and it led us through crack town and bumville to a library that was covered in police tape with a big red sign in the broken windows that said "LIBRARY CLOSED!!!"
Eek.
So we looked for another one and ended up here:
and here...
Korea Town (which is HUGE!!!). We finally just went right downtown into the awful horrible traffic and found a FedEx Kinkos. Blah. We both felt sick, so we left the city into horrendous traffic and ugliness. But we were grateful to be finally leaving L.A. I needed a shower.
To make up for the horrifyingly disappointing day, we stopped off on a scenic overlook near Camp Pendleton to watch the sunset. Despite the sore throat and headache, it was romantic.
It was the last sunset we'd see in California for a long, long time. So we spent an hour or so just sitting, watching the rabbits and each other.
That would be the ocean, a tank track, and me.
The sun sank lower and lower (while we listened to the Camp Pendleton boys shooting in the distance)...
And finally the day was over...
and we went home to shower and wash the L.A. off of ourselves. Little did we know that it would stick with both of us far longer than either of us wanted.
Out
I'll say it again: If you ever get the chance to go to Los Angeles, DON'T GO!!!!! It was the single most underwhelming, filthy, disappointing, ugly, cheap city I've ever been. Seriously. Skip it.
The day started out easily enough. Traffic into L.A. was surprisingly light. Even the morning radio show hosts we finally stumbled upon were surprised.
There was a little bit of fog once we got from El Cajon (where our hotel was) in towards the bay.
And, really, it was a pretty drive spent smiling at each other and loving that we were going to get to see our Marbles Kitty in one more day. Bittersweet, really. But finally we made it to L.A.
The air was yellow. No joke. There was trash everywhere. The graffiti was uninspired, ugly, and contained none of the pride and artistic flair of Chicago graffiti, and I'm being completely serious. It looked painted out of a hurried sense of duty and not out of any personal pride. I chalked all of this up to it being the outskirts or town...but once we got further in, it was no different.
This building lightened my spirits, though. How funny!
We decided to hit Grauman's Chinese Theatre first, so we could see the glitzy, glamorous Hollywood side of the city. Oh, how misguided we were.
The first thing we saw once we parked the car and ventured off of Orange Street was this:
Can you guess whose star this is? There were people openly weeping over Michael Jackson's star, and his offerings were overshadowing the nearby stars, covering up the likes of Queen Latifah.
Look at this one, for comaprison.
Poor Farrah. All alone witout a single flower...
But once we got past that crowd and past the shady people who were trying to sell the mourners bus tours ("See The King of Pop's Famous Haunts!" So classy.) Grauman's Chinese Theatre was actually pretty cool.
This is where they have the handprints of celebrities in cement. It sort of made them seem less untouchable and more like regular people who just had really great jobs.
...or robots.
The Governator has surprisingly small hands:
I was shocked they weren't giant man paws.
We waded trough a sea of Asian teens who were, for some reason, crowding around the Harry Potter slab.
I was unaware of this particular cultural obsession...but seriously, without any exaggeration, we were the only non-Asians trying to take a picture of the thing. And they didn't seem interested in anything else there.
After that, we decided to hit the Walk of Fame, where they have the stars with celebrities' names on them. We saw everyone from:
to:
(one of my favorite authors)
to
Seriously. Godzilla had a star. I took a ton of photos. So if there's a star you'd particularly like to see, let me know and I'll email it to you. I've got about 300 of them.
(For the record, I just had to upload this whole post to a new editor because it kept trying to underline my text for no reason and there was no way I could shut it off. Once I'm done with this post, I'm going to drink a bottle of wine. Cripes!)
Oh, let me tell you why L.A. was super underwhelming. You know how you expect The Walk of Fame to be glitzy? Glamorous? Hip? Trendy? You picture cute shops and high class bars and stuff along the way, right? No. We thought so too, and we were so wrong. Past Grauman's, it was like souvenir shop, seedy bar, porn shop, lingerie store, souvenir shop, porn store, seedy bar, seedier bar, porn store, dancewear shop, souvenir store, souvenir store, Mc Donald's, porn store, empty storefront, etc. Oh, and outside of every souvenir shop and some porn stores were people selling bus tours, pushing them on you and not taking no for an answer. That, or bums. And this was a MONDAY!
There were times when I thought I was about to get mugged. It was seriously scary. What the hell happened to make this area so absolutely shitty? Ugh. After about an hour in town we both had headaches (and I don't GET headaches). We decided to leave the area to try to visit some of the studios.
That area was actually a bit nicer. We went to Warner Bros.
No famous people to be found. The studio tour was $45 a person, which isn't that bad of a price, but it was our last day of vacation and we were quite poor, still. We most definitely didn't have $90 to blow. I mean, we ate at McDonald's in downtown Hollywood, for god's sake!
So we left from Warner and went to see if we could find Disney. We sort of stumbled into it.
There was no one to stop us at the guard hut, so we just follwed the visitor parking signs and got out of the car. We didn't know quite what to do, so we headed for the most impressive building there to ask for a tour:
Yes, those are the 7 dwarves holding up roof. It was really impressive, actually. Check it out.
So we went in, and there was a security guard named Jeff on duty. We asked him about tours. He said we could go in any building on the lot except this one, since it was the executive building. A well dressed man I didn't recognize got out of the elevator and said hello to us...he sort of looked like he expected us to ask for an autograph or something. And after smiling awkwardly for a second, he walked off. No idea who he was.
So, we were still incredulous about being allowed to just stroll around. I asked, "So, we can just wander around?"
"Yeah."
"Wow...Warner Bros wanted $45 for a guided tour. This is great."
And he stops...looks at us, and goes, "Who aer you here with?"
We just looked at him blankly. "Ummm...no one?"
I told him we just drove in and parked...that no one asked us to stop at the hut. He looked REALLY confused, like his brain just did a 1080 or something...
"Oh, then you guys can't actually be here at all."
Robb asked if we could take a few photos of the courtyard and then leave. He said as long as we promised to ge back in the car and go. So we did. I told him he could put my arm behind my back and lead me to my car if it would make him feel better. He said he didn't really care what we did, that we could probably wander around because he wouldn't run to catch us in this heat.
Ha!
We just took some pictures and got back in the car like nice, honest tourists, sadly. And then we looked at eachother and went, "DANG IT!!! We could have just wandered around Disney!" Yup...we're too honest.
So we drove around looking for the Hollywood sign, going past Capitol Records:
Very famous.
We fially found the sign (it's harder to find than you'd think):
It was also dirty and underwhelming. Smaller than I thought it would be.
We had to print out our boarding passes for the next day, so we were pressed to find a library by 4. I entered a search for libraries into our ever-so-trusty VZ Navigator and it led us through crack town and bumville to a library that was covered in police tape with a big red sign in the broken windows that said "LIBRARY CLOSED!!!"
Eek.
So we looked for another one and ended up here:
and here...
Korea Town (which is HUGE!!!). We finally just went right downtown into the awful horrible traffic and found a FedEx Kinkos. Blah. We both felt sick, so we left the city into horrendous traffic and ugliness. But we were grateful to be finally leaving L.A. I needed a shower.
To make up for the horrifyingly disappointing day, we stopped off on a scenic overlook near Camp Pendleton to watch the sunset. Despite the sore throat and headache, it was romantic.
It was the last sunset we'd see in California for a long, long time. So we spent an hour or so just sitting, watching the rabbits and each other.
That would be the ocean, a tank track, and me.
The sun sank lower and lower (while we listened to the Camp Pendleton boys shooting in the distance)...
And finally the day was over...
and we went home to shower and wash the L.A. off of ourselves. Little did we know that it would stick with both of us far longer than either of us wanted.
Out
Friday, August 14, 2009
Day 11 - Runaround Sue...
We started this day with only two things on the agenda: 1) Go to National City, California, to take some pictures, since that's the bank where I work; and 2) Go to church on the beach with my Uncle Howard.
So what did we do? Well, you'll just have to see.
We started the day here:
That name is 100% indicative of what we saw on our drive. It was a mile (maybe more) of car dealerships. Ridiculous. But we found the center of town and decided to take photos for my coworkers. Commence photo shoot...NOW.
*snap*
*snap*
*snap*
*snap*
After this last one, some guy drove buy in a car an yelled "FAGGOT!" out his window. I just said, "and proud of it!" But honestly...it kind of got me down. We got back in the car and started driving. And when we saw this sign, we knew what our plans for the day were:
We wanted to see Tijuana...but from America.
There's the gate. It's worth blowing up this photo to see what those signs say.
But we got to see Tijuana, the happiest place on earth (according to Krusty the Clown).
It looked crowded and hot. I really had no desire to go to Mexico, and I still don't.
We take pride, though, in knowing we drove on the most southwesterly road in the entire U.S.
See?
I was nervous the whole time we were down that way because we both had heard that it's a REALLY bad time to go down to Tijuana. Apparently people are being kidnapped, and their cell phones are being used to call loved ones and ask for money. And if they don't get it? Fingers in the mail.
I, for one, planned to come back with all of my limbs intact...which I did (sort of), no thanks to our next destination.
We decided to drive up Silver Strand Highway to Coronado, since Robb didn't get to see it before. I had heard that the beaches along Silver Strand are the most gorgeous around. We didn't really get to see them, though, because half the scenery was military fence and the other half was mostly beachless bay.
But we did see this:
If anyone saw Transformers 2, this was in the movie briefly. One of the Decepticons runs past this on his way to puke ball bearings into an exhaust tube while trying to retrieve the life source that will bring their leader back to life. I wondered, at the time, what it was. I still don't know, but apparently they keep Transformers down there or something...
Moving on...we did get a gorgeous view of the Coronado Bay Bridge.
Robb wanted to drive on it, so we decided we'd take it on our way back.
But we made it to the Hotel del Coronado, where we found the world most posh snail in a flower pot:
He was great. I think he knew Marlon Brando, but he was playing coy...
There was a wedding party roaming around the grounds, and when we got out to the beach, we knew why:
How would you like to get married at the Hotel del? Where would you go on your honeymoon if you're already there?
I wanted to go down to the tidepools, since we hadn't gotten to see them before. We saw all manner of wildlife including these:
And these:
Oh, and these!
Those boys were finding hermit and fiddler crabs and putting them in a Tupperware with water. The guy in blue shorts was in charge of the container, and he kept freaking out and dropping it when the crabs tried to climb out...and yet they still let him keep that job.
We hung out with them and searched for crabs. I caught a really big hermit crab and Robb caught several good-sized crabs, so we donated them to the cause...which turned out to be diging a pit in the sand and seeing if they'd fight. They wouldn't.
But we did see a starfish!
Look all the way at the bottom of that photo. I apologize for the poor quality, but by that time it was after 3 and the tide was coming in, sending huge waves crashing over the rocks periodically. Robb got a better photo, but he also got SOAKED!
He was bending down to take a picture and he had his back to the waves. All of a sudden this HUGE wave came in and crashed all up and down his back. He guarded his camera, though. After that he handed it to me, and we headed back towards the sand. Being in charge of his camera, I, of course, slipped and fell, smashing it on the rocks. It was fine, but I was bleeding from BOTH ankles.
We bid farewell to our crabs and our crab-fighting boys,
and we went to find a lifeguard.
I asked him if he had some alcohol and a band-aid or two. He goes, "Well I AM a lifeguard." all sarcastic-like...and I thought to myself, "He must be from Chicago or something...what an asshole."
But I got all bandaged up and we headed back to the car to get Robb's swim trunks so he could change and not get the car wet. After he changed, we bid adieu to the Hotel del Coronado for the last time.
We got on our way to Oceanside for church on the beach.
The bay bridge was a nice ride:
We got to see the shipyards again.
That big tan boat in front is a banana hauler.
On the way up the 5, we saw this:
and this:
I dunno...odd stuff these Californians build on the waterfront.
After getting lost twice, we finally found where my family was and I stopped feeling like a complete failure. We met my Uncle Howard:
And my Aunt Lucia,
And the girls...and after a short hiatus, church on the beach got under way.
My Unlce Howard played guitar and sang, as he does.
He was in a late 80s/early 90s Christian hair metal band called Ezra at one point. They weren't bad, honestly...but their look? Whoo...back then it was amazing! All giant long hair and semi-flashy costumes. Ah, history...
But church was really great.
After some music, there was a short sermon, and I was reminded to live in the now...today. I also realized that God had answered a prayer of mine from WAY back when...something I used to pray for all the time. I was no longer scared that people knew I was a Christian. I used to be TERRIFIED of people knowing that, for some reason...and I think after I came out I just didn't care who knew what about me...I was comfortable with myself and that's all that mattered. But it was just cool to sit there and have that little revelation as the sun got lower...
and lower...
It was a gorgeous day, and I finally got my sunset on the beach!
After that we went back to my uncles house in Vista and had amazing burgers off the grill and swam in their pool while they got to spend some time meeting Robb. It was a great way to spend the evening, and they are still the most loving and hospitable people I've ever met.
I went to be with a smile on my face, little knowing that it would be a hell of a day the next day...
Out
So what did we do? Well, you'll just have to see.
We started the day here:
That name is 100% indicative of what we saw on our drive. It was a mile (maybe more) of car dealerships. Ridiculous. But we found the center of town and decided to take photos for my coworkers. Commence photo shoot...NOW.
*snap*
*snap*
*snap*
*snap*
After this last one, some guy drove buy in a car an yelled "FAGGOT!" out his window. I just said, "and proud of it!" But honestly...it kind of got me down. We got back in the car and started driving. And when we saw this sign, we knew what our plans for the day were:
We wanted to see Tijuana...but from America.
There's the gate. It's worth blowing up this photo to see what those signs say.
But we got to see Tijuana, the happiest place on earth (according to Krusty the Clown).
It looked crowded and hot. I really had no desire to go to Mexico, and I still don't.
We take pride, though, in knowing we drove on the most southwesterly road in the entire U.S.
See?
I was nervous the whole time we were down that way because we both had heard that it's a REALLY bad time to go down to Tijuana. Apparently people are being kidnapped, and their cell phones are being used to call loved ones and ask for money. And if they don't get it? Fingers in the mail.
I, for one, planned to come back with all of my limbs intact...which I did (sort of), no thanks to our next destination.
We decided to drive up Silver Strand Highway to Coronado, since Robb didn't get to see it before. I had heard that the beaches along Silver Strand are the most gorgeous around. We didn't really get to see them, though, because half the scenery was military fence and the other half was mostly beachless bay.
But we did see this:
If anyone saw Transformers 2, this was in the movie briefly. One of the Decepticons runs past this on his way to puke ball bearings into an exhaust tube while trying to retrieve the life source that will bring their leader back to life. I wondered, at the time, what it was. I still don't know, but apparently they keep Transformers down there or something...
Moving on...we did get a gorgeous view of the Coronado Bay Bridge.
Robb wanted to drive on it, so we decided we'd take it on our way back.
But we made it to the Hotel del Coronado, where we found the world most posh snail in a flower pot:
He was great. I think he knew Marlon Brando, but he was playing coy...
There was a wedding party roaming around the grounds, and when we got out to the beach, we knew why:
How would you like to get married at the Hotel del? Where would you go on your honeymoon if you're already there?
I wanted to go down to the tidepools, since we hadn't gotten to see them before. We saw all manner of wildlife including these:
And these:
Oh, and these!
Those boys were finding hermit and fiddler crabs and putting them in a Tupperware with water. The guy in blue shorts was in charge of the container, and he kept freaking out and dropping it when the crabs tried to climb out...and yet they still let him keep that job.
We hung out with them and searched for crabs. I caught a really big hermit crab and Robb caught several good-sized crabs, so we donated them to the cause...which turned out to be diging a pit in the sand and seeing if they'd fight. They wouldn't.
But we did see a starfish!
Look all the way at the bottom of that photo. I apologize for the poor quality, but by that time it was after 3 and the tide was coming in, sending huge waves crashing over the rocks periodically. Robb got a better photo, but he also got SOAKED!
He was bending down to take a picture and he had his back to the waves. All of a sudden this HUGE wave came in and crashed all up and down his back. He guarded his camera, though. After that he handed it to me, and we headed back towards the sand. Being in charge of his camera, I, of course, slipped and fell, smashing it on the rocks. It was fine, but I was bleeding from BOTH ankles.
We bid farewell to our crabs and our crab-fighting boys,
and we went to find a lifeguard.
I asked him if he had some alcohol and a band-aid or two. He goes, "Well I AM a lifeguard." all sarcastic-like...and I thought to myself, "He must be from Chicago or something...what an asshole."
But I got all bandaged up and we headed back to the car to get Robb's swim trunks so he could change and not get the car wet. After he changed, we bid adieu to the Hotel del Coronado for the last time.
We got on our way to Oceanside for church on the beach.
The bay bridge was a nice ride:
We got to see the shipyards again.
That big tan boat in front is a banana hauler.
On the way up the 5, we saw this:
and this:
I dunno...odd stuff these Californians build on the waterfront.
After getting lost twice, we finally found where my family was and I stopped feeling like a complete failure. We met my Uncle Howard:
And my Aunt Lucia,
And the girls...and after a short hiatus, church on the beach got under way.
My Unlce Howard played guitar and sang, as he does.
He was in a late 80s/early 90s Christian hair metal band called Ezra at one point. They weren't bad, honestly...but their look? Whoo...back then it was amazing! All giant long hair and semi-flashy costumes. Ah, history...
But church was really great.
After some music, there was a short sermon, and I was reminded to live in the now...today. I also realized that God had answered a prayer of mine from WAY back when...something I used to pray for all the time. I was no longer scared that people knew I was a Christian. I used to be TERRIFIED of people knowing that, for some reason...and I think after I came out I just didn't care who knew what about me...I was comfortable with myself and that's all that mattered. But it was just cool to sit there and have that little revelation as the sun got lower...
and lower...
It was a gorgeous day, and I finally got my sunset on the beach!
After that we went back to my uncles house in Vista and had amazing burgers off the grill and swam in their pool while they got to spend some time meeting Robb. It was a great way to spend the evening, and they are still the most loving and hospitable people I've ever met.
I went to be with a smile on my face, little knowing that it would be a hell of a day the next day...
Out
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