I kept a lid on it the other day and didn't boil over, so that's nice. No catastrophe to speak of, except that I'm still employed by the bank. And that really is a blessing, honestly, despite the high levels of job-related hatred on the meters.
The reason you haven't seen much of me is that I usually cross-post between my other blog and this one, but theo ther blog is nearing the 1000 posts mark, and most of the posts have pertained to that. And since I have barely been here for over 100 posts, it would be silly to talk about the 1000th. Thus, my silence.
So I apologize for that.
In the next week or so, I hope to do a post about fortune cookies. I cleaned out my wallet and found about fifty of them, so I think I'll do a "best of" thing. Anywho...that's the news from Lake Woebegon.
I now return you to your regular lives...
Out
Monday, September 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Top 5 Tuesday: Top 5 People With Whom I'd Love To Share an Awkward Elevator Ride...
It's Top 5 Tuesday again, folks! This week: elevators, celebrities, awkward tension! Yes, yes, yes. Have you ever been on an elevator with someone you know, perhaps someone you absolutely adore, but you're not quite sure you know that they'd remember you? Or maybe you're sure they have no idea who you are. Either way, you want to badly to strike up a conversation, to be clever and witty and most of all charming, but you know you'll fall flat on your face if you open your mouth?
This week's dedicated to you!
I bring you my list of the Top 5 People With Whom I'd Love to Share an Awkward Elevator Ride!
5) Jason Statham
This actor is on my list. You know, my LIST. The "you can have a freebie with this one an not get in trouble with the husband" list. So obviously I'd want to share an awkward elevator ride with him. What movie would I tell him I loved him in? The Italian Job? That's the one I fell in love with his accent in. The Transporter? Just plain hot. Or would I just stand there next to him in the back staring as he talked to someone on the phone, listening and trying to discreetly take his photo...or his shirt off...whichever.
4) Whoopi Goldberg
Now this is one of those I'd just like to be intelligent with. I want to talk to her, to make her laugh. I love her laugh! I'd probably stand there next to her. She'd turn to glance at me and nod a little, sharing the awkward moment where she wondered if I was going to talk to her while I wonder the same thing. And then as the doors opened and she walked off I'd just go, "I love you, Whoopi!" and she'd wave a hand in the air as she walked away to say, "I know."
3) The Queen of England
I mean, really...who wouldn't want to take a ride on an elevator with her? She would stand there, the picture of poise and grace, and I wouldn't be able to help but blow a big fart as silently or as loudly as I could and watch her try to retain her poise as she smells day old White Castle burgers wafting gently about the small space. How could you not want to watch her sniff and wrinkle her nose?! Trust me...those things have the power to destroy anyone's perfect veneer.
2) Stomp
You know who I'm talking about! (And if you don't...YouTube them right now.) The men and women of stomp with their brooms and trash can lids would make AWESOME elevator partners! They clatter almost silently on the walls and floor, building to a crescendo and then blasting off into a routine that completely surrounds you and makes it seem like the elevator might come crashing down at any moment with the noise and excitement, and then the doors open and everyone walkes off silently like nothing ever happened.
1) Adam Levine
The lead singer of Maroon 5 is also on my LIST. This is one of those times I'd be peeing myself in the elevator trying not to SQUEEEEE so loudly that he thinks I'm some stupid fangirl. But really...I'm a stupid fangirl. Their music, I dig. Their lead singer, though...he's just sex on legs. Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to keep my hands to myself. Whoops! I slipped and hit the stop button. Whoops! I fell over. Whoops! I have a restraining order. He's number one on my LIST and the number one person I'd love to share an awkward elevator ride with.
There yo have it, folks! Another week down and another list exposed--perhaps too literally this time...But anywho, I'm sure I'll be back next week with another list, and remember, I'm always taking suggestions for ideas you'd love to see on Top 5 Tuesday! Keep them coming.
Out
This week's dedicated to you!
I bring you my list of the Top 5 People With Whom I'd Love to Share an Awkward Elevator Ride!
5) Jason Statham
This actor is on my list. You know, my LIST. The "you can have a freebie with this one an not get in trouble with the husband" list. So obviously I'd want to share an awkward elevator ride with him. What movie would I tell him I loved him in? The Italian Job? That's the one I fell in love with his accent in. The Transporter? Just plain hot. Or would I just stand there next to him in the back staring as he talked to someone on the phone, listening and trying to discreetly take his photo...or his shirt off...whichever.
4) Whoopi Goldberg
Now this is one of those I'd just like to be intelligent with. I want to talk to her, to make her laugh. I love her laugh! I'd probably stand there next to her. She'd turn to glance at me and nod a little, sharing the awkward moment where she wondered if I was going to talk to her while I wonder the same thing. And then as the doors opened and she walked off I'd just go, "I love you, Whoopi!" and she'd wave a hand in the air as she walked away to say, "I know."
3) The Queen of England
I mean, really...who wouldn't want to take a ride on an elevator with her? She would stand there, the picture of poise and grace, and I wouldn't be able to help but blow a big fart as silently or as loudly as I could and watch her try to retain her poise as she smells day old White Castle burgers wafting gently about the small space. How could you not want to watch her sniff and wrinkle her nose?! Trust me...those things have the power to destroy anyone's perfect veneer.
2) Stomp
You know who I'm talking about! (And if you don't...YouTube them right now.) The men and women of stomp with their brooms and trash can lids would make AWESOME elevator partners! They clatter almost silently on the walls and floor, building to a crescendo and then blasting off into a routine that completely surrounds you and makes it seem like the elevator might come crashing down at any moment with the noise and excitement, and then the doors open and everyone walkes off silently like nothing ever happened.
1) Adam Levine
The lead singer of Maroon 5 is also on my LIST. This is one of those times I'd be peeing myself in the elevator trying not to SQUEEEEE so loudly that he thinks I'm some stupid fangirl. But really...I'm a stupid fangirl. Their music, I dig. Their lead singer, though...he's just sex on legs. Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to keep my hands to myself. Whoops! I slipped and hit the stop button. Whoops! I fell over. Whoops! I have a restraining order. He's number one on my LIST and the number one person I'd love to share an awkward elevator ride with.
There yo have it, folks! Another week down and another list exposed--perhaps too literally this time...But anywho, I'm sure I'll be back next week with another list, and remember, I'm always taking suggestions for ideas you'd love to see on Top 5 Tuesday! Keep them coming.
Out
Friday, September 4, 2009
Internet Famous...
Hey guys! I was trying to figure out what to post today, when I came across a message in my inbox from Hardest Level.
Apparently they were going to use my Top 5 Tuesday post from this week on their blog! Sweet!
Check it out!
I'm thrilled. It totally made my day! My week! And hey, people are READING IT! That's the amazing part.
In other news...does anyone know how to muzzle a cat? He's loud.
Out
Apparently they were going to use my Top 5 Tuesday post from this week on their blog! Sweet!
Check it out!
I'm thrilled. It totally made my day! My week! And hey, people are READING IT! That's the amazing part.
In other news...does anyone know how to muzzle a cat? He's loud.
Out
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Dilemma...
There is this woman who goes to my church on Wednesday nights, and I have a problem with her. She's also a customer at the bank. Yesterday she came through the drive and Debbie, a woman I work with, said, "Oh man, she is nasty!" Meaning she is rude and mean. And then she says, "AND she's a pastor!"
Now, I knew she was a pastor (not of our church). That was no surprise, but I didn't think it was common knowledge. See, when someone you know is a bitch AND a pastor, it's hard to take them seriously.
At church she is smiley and sweet and nice. In our drive thru, though, she's just absolutely rude and mean and horrid to deal with. And it makes me wonder if she knows I know her from church, and if she'd be so rude if she knew. If she would, then she's just a shady pastor and a bad representative of Christ's love in the world.
I just feel like it needs to be brought to someone's attention. Because frankly, I know church people can be assholes. So can everyone else! But when people who you KNOW don't like church people notice that they're assholes, it makes me upset. It's like, "Way to be another reason that people don't go to church."
So I considered writing a letter to the church where she's a student pastor. Just sort of a "Hey, to whom it may concern, perhaps you should remind such-and-such that she is a representative of your church AND of Christ's love when she's out in the real world, and maybe she shouldn't be so rude."
Do you think that's out of line?
Out
Now, I knew she was a pastor (not of our church). That was no surprise, but I didn't think it was common knowledge. See, when someone you know is a bitch AND a pastor, it's hard to take them seriously.
At church she is smiley and sweet and nice. In our drive thru, though, she's just absolutely rude and mean and horrid to deal with. And it makes me wonder if she knows I know her from church, and if she'd be so rude if she knew. If she would, then she's just a shady pastor and a bad representative of Christ's love in the world.
I just feel like it needs to be brought to someone's attention. Because frankly, I know church people can be assholes. So can everyone else! But when people who you KNOW don't like church people notice that they're assholes, it makes me upset. It's like, "Way to be another reason that people don't go to church."
So I considered writing a letter to the church where she's a student pastor. Just sort of a "Hey, to whom it may concern, perhaps you should remind such-and-such that she is a representative of your church AND of Christ's love when she's out in the real world, and maybe she shouldn't be so rude."
Do you think that's out of line?
Out
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Another One...
I was riding my bike up towards the apartment and I saw a girl who looked very familiar. I drew a blank. Then I wrote this poem.
Lost
That strike on the slab of memory,
four more compressions even though I know
it won't come back to me--
a breath.
Nothing.
What the hell was her name?!
------------
Out
Lost
That strike on the slab of memory,
four more compressions even though I know
it won't come back to me--
a breath.
Nothing.
What the hell was her name?!
------------
Out
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Top 5 Tuesday: Games Edition...
Alright, this installment of Top 5 Tuesday comes straight from the roaring 90s! When all of the rest of you were out getting girlfriends or boyfriends and growing up, I was playing these Top 5 Computer Games You've Never Played.
5) Shadows of Darkness
There was nothing better than the glory days of Sierra's point-and-click adventures (except, of course, our other 4 entries), and this was no exception. The spooky tone of this game hid some really random humor and may have scared off some younger players. And while the combat was really wonky, exploring and solving puzzles in this quirky, colorful game was truly satisfying. I never made it all the way through this one, but if I could find a copy that would run on my PC, I'd give it another shot.
4) The Incredible Machine
This was another Sierra gem (did anyone else MAKE games back then?) that got too little fanfare. You were given a goal in each stage, along with a pile of parts you had to assemble to reach that goal, whether that be popping three balloons or shooting a basketball into a hoop. In the stage from this screen shot, I once successfully stacked two bowling balls on top of each other. Real physics be damned! I never did find a full version of this game, but the eight levels from the demo really tickled my brain.
3) Sim Tower
I know. I know. Some of you are crying "LAME!" right now. But really, once you got past the fact that this game wasn't shiny or easy to play, it was a pretty cool game. I spent hours trying to place condos in order to garner more rent so I could afford to put in more elevators for my ever-annoyed tenants. And who could ever forget that roach symbol when hotel rooms got dirty? They spread like...well...roaches. It may not have been the crown jewel of the Maxis line up (oh, THAT'S who was making games besides Sierra!), but it was a really reat game that no one played.
2) Marble Drop
I had one of these sets when I was little, and every time I go home for a holiday, I play with it. How cool was it, then, when I found this game in a collection of other games I bought on a whim. It was the marble set you always dreamed of, and you never had to clean it up! At times I wished I could pick it up, because it was sometimes so frustrating I wanted to hurl it across the room. But even then, it was pretty fricking phenomenal. Good learning curve and great challenges nabbed the number two spot on my list!
And now for the number one computer game you've never played:
1) Baldies
Whoever came up with the idea of pitting different colors of little bald men against each other with traps such as skunks and land mines (my personal favorite combination) needs both detox AND a round of applause! You took control (literally, with a giant hand) of a tribe of red-garbed bald men, assigning them jobs like builder, military, scientist, etc, and worked to rid the map of whatever other colors were there. Once your builders had completed a house, you piled your Baldies inside of it and assigned them to rooms (mating by jumping on the bed, researching weapons or new houses and castles, etc.), and then you prayed you'd develop things faster than your enemy so he wouldn't kill all your men. And with a little help from the F8 key, you spawned a million men and conquered! It was sick, it was twisted, and you could drop a rabbit in a bear trap. It was everything I wanted when I was a teenager! That's why it ends up at number one on my list of the Top 5 Computer Games You've Never Played.
I certainly hope you enjoyed this installment. And please, if you played it, let me know! I hate being alone in my bliss!
Out
5) Shadows of Darkness
There was nothing better than the glory days of Sierra's point-and-click adventures (except, of course, our other 4 entries), and this was no exception. The spooky tone of this game hid some really random humor and may have scared off some younger players. And while the combat was really wonky, exploring and solving puzzles in this quirky, colorful game was truly satisfying. I never made it all the way through this one, but if I could find a copy that would run on my PC, I'd give it another shot.
4) The Incredible Machine
This was another Sierra gem (did anyone else MAKE games back then?) that got too little fanfare. You were given a goal in each stage, along with a pile of parts you had to assemble to reach that goal, whether that be popping three balloons or shooting a basketball into a hoop. In the stage from this screen shot, I once successfully stacked two bowling balls on top of each other. Real physics be damned! I never did find a full version of this game, but the eight levels from the demo really tickled my brain.
3) Sim Tower
I know. I know. Some of you are crying "LAME!" right now. But really, once you got past the fact that this game wasn't shiny or easy to play, it was a pretty cool game. I spent hours trying to place condos in order to garner more rent so I could afford to put in more elevators for my ever-annoyed tenants. And who could ever forget that roach symbol when hotel rooms got dirty? They spread like...well...roaches. It may not have been the crown jewel of the Maxis line up (oh, THAT'S who was making games besides Sierra!), but it was a really reat game that no one played.
2) Marble Drop
I had one of these sets when I was little, and every time I go home for a holiday, I play with it. How cool was it, then, when I found this game in a collection of other games I bought on a whim. It was the marble set you always dreamed of, and you never had to clean it up! At times I wished I could pick it up, because it was sometimes so frustrating I wanted to hurl it across the room. But even then, it was pretty fricking phenomenal. Good learning curve and great challenges nabbed the number two spot on my list!
And now for the number one computer game you've never played:
1) Baldies
Whoever came up with the idea of pitting different colors of little bald men against each other with traps such as skunks and land mines (my personal favorite combination) needs both detox AND a round of applause! You took control (literally, with a giant hand) of a tribe of red-garbed bald men, assigning them jobs like builder, military, scientist, etc, and worked to rid the map of whatever other colors were there. Once your builders had completed a house, you piled your Baldies inside of it and assigned them to rooms (mating by jumping on the bed, researching weapons or new houses and castles, etc.), and then you prayed you'd develop things faster than your enemy so he wouldn't kill all your men. And with a little help from the F8 key, you spawned a million men and conquered! It was sick, it was twisted, and you could drop a rabbit in a bear trap. It was everything I wanted when I was a teenager! That's why it ends up at number one on my list of the Top 5 Computer Games You've Never Played.
I certainly hope you enjoyed this installment. And please, if you played it, let me know! I hate being alone in my bliss!
Out
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