Erm...

I was going to post a video blog. YouTube ate it. So...there's that.

It's my mom's birthday today. I'ma call her.

Out

Flashing ComEd...

This morning I woke up, as I tend to do when I don't open at work, at around 8:30. If you've been reading my blog for the past few years, you probably already know what I wear to bed. If you don't, let me clue you in: not a thing. So, this morning, I rolled out of bed, opened the blinds in the living room and kitchen, like I normally do, and went in to the bathroom.

Now, you may be wondering why a naked man would open his blinds every morning BEFORE getting dressed. Well, we live on he second floor. Out the back bedroom windows is the yard. Our back yard is a retention area with only one-story homes around it. And across the street out the front windows are more one story homes. Unless someone is climbing a tree in our back yard or climbing up a ladder (which has happened with maintenance...), no one is going to see in.

Or so I thought.

So, I come out from the bathroom and go strolling in to the living room, and what do I see? Apparently a Com Ed truck has rolled up while I was in there. So...bucket truck out the window. I walked to the kitchen. There was a SECOND truck out THAT window. And then I retreated to the bedroom where I could be sure not to bee seen...and if I were wearing pants, I might have crapped in them. There was a THIRD truck IN OUR FREAKING PARKING LOT! So. All the blinds are open. There are bucket trucks outside of every window. And I'm naked.

What a bright morning this is turning out to be...let me creep to the closet and put on some pants...

Out

Muddied...

Have you ever worked on something for so long that you kind of forgot why?

I've been compiling a playlist. When did I start? Oh...January, maybe? Perhaps earlier. And last night I was looking through my music and thinking to myself, "What the hell did I want to say in this list? Was it sexy or regretful? And...why?"

But now I've compiled enough songs that I might have to finish it. Not to mention that I'm basically hard-wired to listen for songs that might fit it after more than six months of doing just that. Everything on the radio, everything on my computer, every movie I watch, every music video someone links to...it all just goes into a little machine in my head that weighs the lyrics against a set of feelings. Do they match? No. On to the next one. Do they match? Maybe. It goes on the maybe list. There aren't very many yes songs. I think I've got six, maybe...

But I've been doing it for so long that last night I got confused...I think the story I'm trying to tell with the songs got a little muddied after being stirred so long.

And no. I'm not sharing the list just yet. Maybe once I decide on an actual title. Right now it's called Tanis Judique, which doesn't probably mean anything to any of you. It may end up being the name I choose, but...maybe not.

Anywho, that's what has been on my mind lately. I think I need a break from thinking about it.

Out

Waitwaitwait...I'm WHAT?!

Sometimes when I'm talking about my plans for the next week or so, I'm stopped cold by the thought that I don't even know who I am anymore. Take today, for instance.

What do I have to do today? Oh, you know, get a haircut, buy some more Burt's Bees, maybe stop in at work to see Dorothy's new suit, go to my first church board meeting, eat some cornbread...

Wait...what?

Board meeting?

I know, I know. Who are you? You're the guy who hates church politics and is uncomfortable meeting new people. You're the guy whose mom left every church she ever attended (except the one she's at now) because of board members and expectations and everything that makes a church more a business than a refuge for people who just want to love the world. Yeah...that guy.

But...you're a BOARD MEMBER?

Well, I was asked to be. United Campus Ministries wanted the viewpoint of someone like me...or, more specifically, of me. I'm a townie. I go to Lutheran Campus Ministries on Wednesday nights. I go to United Church of Christ on Sundays when I'm not at work. I'm a twenty-something for a few more years. And I'm gay. So...I'm at least a little bit unique. They didn't point any of that stuff out when they asked me to be a board member. They just said they wanted me. And, I was honored. So...

Today is the first meeting. I have no idea what to expect. I assume we'll get to know each other, talk about the budget, discuss a trip that we plan on sponsoring, and go home. But, honestly, I have no idea. I've never been on a board of any kind. I don't know if I've ever held any position of authority before...at least not OFFICIALLY.

So. Yeah...It's safe to say that I'm nervous. But I can't worry about that at the moment. I need to get my hair cut...

Out

Longer Weekends, Please!

So, I got a three-day weekend. I know...it's rare for me, too. But I did. And into that weekend we packed a wedding, church, writing group, a baseball game, and a meal at my mom's house. It was a full weekend!

Through it all I was fighting. Relentlessly. With an inanimate object.

At one point, I almost threw my camera out the window of the car as we crossed over a bridge outside of Peoria. My arm was drawn back, the memory card was in my hand, and I was ready to throw. They talked me out of it.

Every time I turn it on, there's a zoom error. If I pinch the front of the camera and turn it on, it's fine. And sometimes it zooms but doesn't re-focus. And sometimes it doesn't zoom at all, even though the display is telling me it's zoomed. And sometimes, rarely, it works just fine and gives me beautiful, perfect photos.

Key word: rarely.

So, yeah...I'm ready for a new one, but on my list of things that are more important are my teeth, an iPod touch, and, of course, my bills. The odds of getting a new camera before Christmas? Not bloody likely.

Out

My friend Jenni describes pregnancy: you have to be on your best behavior, and even then you may end up with your head in the toilet.

School Memories?

I couldn't see the front of the classroom. The blackboard was a blur of chalk lines and huge letters I couldn't make out. It was like I couldn't blink the grogginess of sleep from my eyes. Everyone else seemed prepared, but I couldn't find my notebook for the class. I knew it was science. I knew it was in an old notebook from last year, but I just couldn't seem to find it. Then music starts and a big man with a beard comes in. Is he in overalls? I can't really see him either. And...I can tell this is going to be a long semester. What kind of arrogant prick of a professor has his own entrance music?

Earlier, I'd seen some friends of mine, chatted about college. I saw my old roommate in our apartment. I'd even gotten into a sort of questionable situation with an old friend of mine, and he almost let slip some secrets to a group of people that included my boyfriend, which could have been kind of disruptive. We were all watching Mean Girls, when Lindsay Lohan turns into a gigantic pregnant lesbian and starts to beat the shit out of everyone in the gymnasium, even my ex boyfriend, Steve.

I'd yelled out the window at two kids I thought were friends of mine. "GET A JOB!" They both looked up. It was 9 AM. They weren't people I knew. And there they were, in my class. I apologized, but they thought it was funny, since they were listening to the same song I was at the time, one that said, "Get a job" in the lyrics. And I couldn't figure out how to sit right in my desk so I had some space to write on. And...holy cow...I had to pee.

Could I wait 50 minutes to pee? How long was this class, anyway? I didn't know...so...I woke up.

My dreams...oh my gosh...they're so weird lately.

Out