Oh man...the boy and I went to see Burlesque last night.
Phew. Glad that's over with.
We got in the theater and we were the only two in there, which I love. That means I don't have to be quiet. And as we sat there and the previews ran, I thought to myself, "These previews are a little hardcore for this movie...odd." Then the movie started and it said it was based on a true story. Umm...what? And when the name of the movie finally came up, I was like, "Ummm...we're here to see Burlesque, not Unstoppable. So I went to the asshole manager (this theater's manager has been there since it opened, and he truly is the overgrown high school nerd who thinks he's GOD) and I said, "I don't mean to be a bitch or anything, but we paid to see the 7:05 showing of Burlesque, and we're getting Unstoppable." And he goes, "Really?" Ugh. So they started the RIGHT movie and it was on like...insert Cher joke here.
So...Burlesque...
Let me break it down for you: it's every "girl leaves home with big dreams" movie you've ever seen, but probably with yummier boys and worse acting. Cher's face doesn't move, which is worth watching for. Alan Cumming, sadly, only has a bit role. He's great with what he does, but I would have loved to see him. Christina Aguilera sings her ass off, but the dancing leaves something to be desired. It's fun and shiny, but nothing spectacular. There were times I actually groaned because it was so obvious that they were trying to be the next Chicago, which no one will ever be.
HOWEVER...
It's a must that you go see it if you like two things: boys that are so hot it makes you ache (Cam Gigandet is impossibly gorgeous), and Stanley Tucci. He, for sure, steals the show. All of his lines are perfect. His acting is flawless. His character feels like one that was ported over from a much better movie. So, he steals every scene he is in...which is pretty impressive since Cher is in most of them.
I would have liked to see Cher sing a little more. I would have liked them to cut out a few side plots that were poorly written and ridiculously resolved. And I would have liked to see Cam Gigandet in my car when the movie was over.
So there you have it.
Oh, and one more thing: you might want to bring a fire extinguisher. At one point Christina Aguilera was in a montage with Cher that involved a Madonna song. It was so gay I almost burst into flames.
That's all.
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Burst into flames, eh? Huh. I'll be honest, this movie doesn't interest me much, no matter how many hot boys are in it. Alan Cumming does have a delicious voice though. I'm probably going to see either The Tempest (oh, Julie Taymor, come make a neo-psychedelic movie about my life) or The Black Swan (oh, Darren Aronofsky, come make a haunting psychological thriller about my life). But Cam Gigandet?? (((Temptation!!!))) That boy makes me hurt in every way, good and bad.
The Cher comment reminds me of an exchange from a movie whose title I can't remember except from the fact that it was some tired variation on the Cinderella story:
Stepmom: I'm so mad!
Stepdaughter: You don't look mad.
Stepmom: Oh, it's the botox. I can't show expression for another hour.
Ah, so you braved Burlesque, eh? I originally thought I'd get the hubs to see it with me, but it looks so cheesy that I'm just not sure it's worth it. Of course, the alternative -- Black Swan -- isn't much better from *his* perspective. (Honestly, he only likes chick-flick dramas.) Maybe I'll wait until this one is on Netflix -- so we can make a drinking game out of it at home :)
@Bryan - That's a marvellous idea. I'll wait for Netflix too (if they're still around by the time Burlesque comes out).
They only gave Alan a bit part? Fail and gay, and I mean that as in lame, not the awesome type like we are :p lol. I still want to see it though, but I think it looks like Showgirls remade to be even more grownup than a movie about showgirls can be.
I'l be honest, Cher, Alan and Christina really are the only motivations for me to see it. I'll make sure to bring my fire extinguisher when I do, haha.
Oof. Adorably, that's sort of a faux pas around here...using "gay" to mean lame. It's like you're equating homosexuality with lameness, stupidness, idiocy...
Not a good thing to say here, regardless of the intended tone.
But you should totally go see it if you like Christina. She sings her ass off.
@Justin - Damn, you beat me to it. That's one of my biggest pet peeves. We hear it enough from th'breeders and we sure as hell don't need to hear it from within our own ranks. I'd say the same thing to blacks with their use of certain... self-referential pronouns. Neither promotes a positive self-image.
No ill will, though. Just a reminder...
Sorry Justin ^_^ Me and my friends (all of them) are very vulgar in..many ways. We say it all the time, for us it's just a non issue, I know others may feel differently though. Sorry, I really do try and censor myself when leaving comments, I swear! Lol.
No biggie, like I said.
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