News Bulletin...

Hey all.  Bullet points.

 - I had my first veggie burger today.  It was pretty good.  I honestly didn't notice too much of a difference, but it was smothered with lots of stuff.

 - I learned that my friend Dave was an acolyte at Marion Zimmer Bradley's funeral.  That's kind of awesome.

 - I'm going to be in an episode of Bombast Podcast coming up soonish.  The recording is tomorrow, and I'll be talking about NaNoWriMo.  I'd be nervous about it, but it's run by one of my better friends from college.  So...that'll be fun.

 - I took my first bike ride of the season today, complete with shirtless frisbee boys and angry geese.

 - I'm running a prank that no one has caught on to yet.  It's fun having a secret.

 - I think I've decided that this blogging exercise has been sort of a failure as judged by the terms I set out for it when I started.  I've missed eight days.  But I made up three of them.  And I might make up another one today, after I finish recording the podcast.  Anywho, I'm not getting down on myself, because I've been blogging.  Maybe not that regularly, but I've been doing it.  Hopefully by the end of the month I'll have my brain trained to think in terms of what might make a worthwhile blog.

I think that's all I've got for you today.  For now.

OUT

Anxiety is Fun...

Today I was working on some of the final puzzles in Jonathan Blow's newest game, The Witness.  They're real brain burners, and they take a lot of concentration to solve.  I shut the game off for lunch, and decided I would listen to a podcast while we ate.  So Robb started heating up leftovers from last night.

My brain was sort of occupied with this puzzle on which I'd quit.  I was getting text messages from two separate people on two separate apps.  I was trying to answer questions from both of them.  The podcast was starting.  And Robb asked me how many fish tacos I wanted.

And my brain just...exploded.  All of a sudden I wanted to throw pretty much everything across the room.  I told Robb to hold on a second, slammed down my mobile speaker, paused my podcast, and silenced my phone.  Then I stood looking at him while he stared at me like a crazy person.

"Two.  I'll have two."

I worked to calm the surge of anger and frustration that swelled inside me from nowhere.  Anxiety will do that.

If it's too loud at work, I start to get mad for no reason.  If it's been too long since I've had some quiet, I start to ball up and push people away.  I'll get my recharge one way or another.  Too many expectations have me shutting down.  Too much stimulation has me inexplicably angry.  And I used to wonder what was wrong with me.  I thought I was just mean or lazy or something.

But I found out it's anxiety.  These are all common responses to anxiety.  And now I'm learning to see the triggers and not get myself into those situations as often.  It's a helpful thing to know what to call something, even if you're not sure what to do about it just yet.

Clearly I have some work to do.  Clearly I still let it get the best of me occasionally.  But with some mindfulness, things are looking better already.

OUT

Really Quick...

I'm working the dream shift tomorrow.  That's a midday shift where I get to sleep in AND have a night!  AND I'll probably get to leave early.

I feel spoiled.  I have nothing for you today except the full moon.  Enjoy it.  For once it didn't turn people into blithering crazies tonight.  I'm going to rearrange my Tarot cards and put them in the moonlight for the night.  Supposedly that's a good way to cleanse their energy.  I'm not sure how much stock I put into that, but it can't hurt.

Anywho...that's all today.  It was a good day.

OUT

Too Nice?

I've run into something in the last few years on occasion that makes me feel like maybe I might be a horrible person.  Have you ever met someone who seems...too nice?  Like...you inherently don't trust them because no one is THAT nice?

I work with a guy who makes me feel that way.  He's so agreeable and nice, shares his food, thinks of his coworkers and surprises them with things, compliments them, etc.  He really is, on the surface, a nice guy.  But I don't trust him.  Like, at all.

This weekend there was an issue at work, and he was really hurt.  Not physically.  Emotionally.  He says he was told something, and that something, I KNOW FOR A FACT, isn't true.  So someone in a circle of management and coworkers is a liar.  They lied about a situation that occurred.  Knowingly.  And the only person who could have benefited from that lie was the nice guy.  So...I'm led to believe that he's feeding many people a line of bullshit so long that no one can untangle it.

But he's so NICE!

And he's not the only one who has elicited that response in me.  People who are genuinely sweet and kind and caring, I assume, must have something hidden in their lives.  We used to have a customer when I worked at a bank in town who was all smiles and concern about how we were doing and what was going on in our lives.  Her daughter was super nice and polite.  Her husband was just great.  And everything about her was damn near perfect.  We all just assumed she was a murderer.  Because who can be THAT NICE all the time?!

Why do we do this?  Why can't I just accept the fact that some people are nice?

It just seems, sometimes, that people who do favors and pay compliments are covering for something, like a perfume trying to mask a particularly pungent odor.  You know it's there, but the fog of niceness is so thick that you just can't make it out.

I dunno.  My gut often tells me to be suspicious of things that are too good to be true.  I trust my gut.  Intuition is a powerful tool that I have learned to develop over the years from reading Tarot cards and reading customer service situations.  If it seems like someone is trying to screw you, they probably are.

OUT

Top Ten: Board Games...

Hey, kids.  I'm gonna slap this up here really quick before bed.  (That's what she said.)  I thought it might be interesting for those of you in the board game world (or those of you who are looking to dive in and wondering what's good) if I shared what my top ten highest rated games are according to my Board Game Geek account.

So, in reverse order and without any further blahblah, here we go.

#10.  Ghost Stories - You want a co-op experience that will beat you down and make you want more?  This is for you.  Defend a town from invading spirits using limited means.  The artwork on this is incredible!  Check it out if you don't mind a challenge.  We've played it 17 times and never won.  So...you know...it's hard.

#9.  Tales of the Arabian Nights - This is more of an experience than a game, but it's still super fun.  You take one of the heroes from the Arabian Nights collection and journey across a board making choices and facing dangers.  It's like a choose your own adventure story book with game elements.  You might end up a sultan with vast treasure.  You might end up a sex-changed beast man who is crippled and lost.  You never know what's coming in this one!  It seats up to 6, but if you play with the full complement of players, cut the points in half.  We played this for 5 hours our first time.

#8.  Flash Point: Fire Rescue - Another co-op experience that's FAR less challenging that Ghost Stories.  This game has you fighting fires and rescuing trapped civilians before the structure you are in collapses around you and dooms you all.  Each character has a special power.  Each turn means more fire.  Work together or die in a fire.  There are some great expansions to this one available, too.  More maps, different mechanics.  It's a great time, and the difficulty scales to fit your ego.

#7.  Carcassonne - What's to be said about this game that hasn't already been said?  This is the game that got me into the modern gaming hobby.  I bought a copy randomly from Barnes & Noble, and after Robb's and my first game, I knew I'd found something special.  Lay tiles and assign workers to score points.  You're building a map of cities and fields and roads, matching tile edges and claiming features to score.  This is a fantastic entry level game that I would play any day of the week.  It's got a pretty satisfying app version, too, with a fun single player solitaire version that you don't get in the box.

#6.  Splendor - Splendor sold me originally because the coins in the box are MAGNIFICENT.  They have a satisfying weight and sound, and that's why I bought this game.  But!  I'm so glad I did.  Splendor has won awards ever since its release, and I would put it up there with the likes of Carcassonne and Settlers of Catan (now just called Catan) for games to introduce someone to if they're curious about the hobby.  Take currency, buy assets, and let those assets work for you to buy even bigger assets.  It's a slow build that really satisfies.  Check out the app version.  It's super well produced and quite fun.

#5.  Catan - You knew it had to be on here.  This game is the reason there IS a gaming boom.  Without Catan, I just can't imagine modern board games being as good as they are.  Roll dice to collect resources and build cities for points.  First to 10 wins.  Choose your starting points wisely or risk being forced to trade away hard earned resources for things you desperately need.  The economy is tight, and the robber makes things tense when you feel like you might be pulling ahead.  Give this a try.  This is another game I own in several forms--including an app version that is pretty good and way cheaper than the actual physical game.

#4.  Scrabble - I know.  I know.  This is not a hobby game, really.  But I can't just leave it off a list like this.  I've lost two games of Scrabble in my life, and they were both to the same person.  You know who you are.  To say I like this game would be doing it a disservice.  It's simple.  It's addicting. And if you have a huge vocabulary, it's almost a guarantee that you'll win.  Wooden squares and a board.  Simple and fun.

#3.  Machi Koro:  Harbor Expansion - The original Machi Koro is a good game.  It's sort of like Catan without a board.  You build a tableau of cards and roll dice to generate income to buy more cards.  First person to build all four landmarks wins.  The Harbor Expansion makes this game into a whole different animal.  Instead of having every building available all the time, this version includes the marketplace, where only ten different building cards are up for grabs.  The market rotates as people buy cards, forcing you to change your strategy based on what is available instead of what has been proven to work time and again (I'm looking at you Ranches and Cheese Factories).  Cute artwork makes this game shine.  Check it out.  It's simple and fun and one of my favorite games.

#2.  Five Tribes - The Mancala mechanic makes this game for me.  Pick up and lay down assassins, merchants, builders, viziers, and elders to score points in several different ways.  Control tiles for points.  Collect cards for points.  Kill people for points.  Invoke powerful Djinni for points!  POINT SALAD!  ALL THE POINTS!  I would play this game right now in the middle of the night with complete strangers if they asked me to.  That's how much I love this game.  Our version was lucky enough to come with a headless camel meeple.  That's right.  Headless.  Robb claims him every game.  But really, pick a strategy and run with it.  That's the path to victory in this Mancala-inspired game that's anything but tame.

And finally, #1.

#1.  Pandemic Legacy:  Season 1 - Don't be turned off by the fact that this game is a one-time-through affair.  There are very few games I've played 17 times.  You have the chance to play anywhere from 12 to 24 games, depending on whether you win or lose each of this game's in-game months.  Twists and turns galore in this one.  Create characters and take them through a year of catastrophic unrest!  Later game mechanics are extremely satisfying and challenging.  If you like Pandemic, play this.  If you've never played Pandemic, play this.  Seriously.  It's that good.  The price tag is sort of high, but after having played through it, I can say that it's worth every penny.  This is, without hyperbole, the single best gaming experience I have ever had for any platform.  And that's saying a ton.

So there you have it, folks.  My top 10, as rated on Board Game Geek.

Honorable mention goes to Traders of Osaka, a compact little economic title that I really suck at but I love.  Another game on my short list is Betrayal at House on the Hill.  The rules are a complete mess, but this game is super fun.  50 scenarios determined randomly in a randomly build mansion mean you never play the same game twice.  And lastly, Rhino Hero made my short list because it's hella fun with kids or adults.  Alcohol increases the difficulty and fun.  Stacking cards like Jenga doesn't seem like much until you realize you've played six games of it and you're sweating like a hog.  Check it out.  It's super cheap right now.

Alright.  I hope you enjoyed this look into my board gaming habit.  Stay tuned for more blahblah later.

OUT

Trying Not To...

It's a little bit sad when someone you only know through social media unfollows you at all outlets.  You'd think that a few years worth of a sort of friendship would mean more, that they might say something to you instead of just unplugging.  But, them's the breaks.

So I had a disagreement with this person a few weeks back when he made a snotty comment about some kid who waited on him being rude, and he said he almost reminded the employee that he was "just a cashier."

I told him that I was "just a cashier," and that I thought his attitude about cashierhood was wrong.  Just a cashier.  Just the guy who listens to your bullshit, deals with your drama, and takes your money.  Just the guy who is the face of the company.  Just the first contact point most people have with a place.  Just a cashier.

He tells me that if I'm offended by his words, I should do something to change my situation.  As if the problem is that I've chosen to be "just a cashier."  That I have chosen to be despised.  That clearly I'm part of the problem.

As my mom always said, "If you think I'm part of the problem, then let me be part of the solution.  Bye."

But I waited around because I figured that I had been friends with this person for several years, that we clearly had SOMETHING.  And then I noticed that I had been unfollowed, defriended, and shut out.  Well, alright.  At least I know.

I'm trying not to let this bug me.  To be all "good riddance" about it.  But the truth is, it actually kind of hurts.  And you think, "Oh, it's just some nobody you'll never meet.  Who cares?"  But people who have long-term internet friends will tell you that it does matter.  Some of those people I'll probably never meet are among my best friends.

And the motherfucker never even apologized.  So...eh.  I guess I'm better off.  The rest of you are still here.

OUT

P.S.  For the record, except for one of you who probably isn't reading this, you don't know him.

OUT...again...

The Sacred in the Mundane...

Any of you who know me in real life probably know I'm a creature of habit.  (Although my writing habits here would suggest otherwise, I'm sure.)  I often order the same thing every time from a restaurant.  I have the same morning routine as I did ten years ago.  And changes of plans?  Oooh.  Count me out.  In fact, you can keep your change altogether.

Some people might think that sounds like a boring life.  They would be wrong, but we'll allow them their wrong opinion for the sake of argument.  It's not that I fear doing things differently, or that I think I have the perfect routine and nothing can be improved upon.  No, no.  I just really like a good ritual.  I guess you could call me a creature of ritual, although that makes me sound like some demon conjured up with blood sacrifice and made to run amok til a plucky band of teenagers and that one old guy everyone thought was crazy but it turns out he was right come along to save the day.  A demon I am not.  At least not that I'm aware.

Breakfast is a ritual.  I open the blinds in the living room and kitchen.  I have my coffee.  I have a muffin or a donut or seven chocolate chip cookies or a piece of cake or pizza from the night before or whatever.  I stand in the morning light (or haze, depending on how Illinois is feeling at that particular minute) and savor the dread that comes from a to-do list you know you won't get to.  I decide what I absolutely will do that day and what I absolutely won't do.  I finish my coffee.  I take a shower.

And that's just the start of my day.  I have ritual moments all throughout.  Showering.  Organizing my bag before I leave for work.  Even my work day is one long routine made up of ritual moments.  Counting drawers.  Cleaning the roller grill.  Emptying the outside trash cans.  Cursing out customers in my head for stuffing two pizza boxes in the trash can hole sideways so they clog the opening of a perfectly empty trash can and make it impossible for anyone to use it.  Cooking pizza.  Stocking the cooler.

And as much as I rail and repeat, I love it.  Now if I could just learn to notice when I'm doing it and try to focus on the joy of that, I'm sure my days would get better.  Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.

OUT