Is it odd that I always make a mental to-do list longer than I have time for?
There are some obligatory time eaters every day such as:
Before work I work out, shower and get ready. I go to work, and while I'm there I catch up on the blogspot blogs I read. Once I get home I work out a bit for the second time. Then I eat something and catch up on Xanga blogs. I check my email. Some days I make sure no one has announced they're getting married on Facebook. And then there's Animal Crossing for the Wii, a game that runs in real-time, even when you're not playing it. I have to visit my town every day for fear that my neighbors will move away and all my flowers will die.
All those things I count as fairly obligatory. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy them. I just feel like I have to do them every day.
That leaves me with about two hours, maybe, that aren't taken up by making dinner with Robb, eating, showering, driving, etc. And in that time, I feel like I have to keep up with everything else that's going on. That's not to mention laundry or dishes or grocery shopping or phone conversations or fights.
Some days, it's just too much. I get to ten thirty when we try to shower and go to bed and I think to myself, "What a wonderful world...." Oh, wait...that's Louie Armstrong. I think, "Gosh, I wanted to go do that." Or, "I wanted to watch that, read that, try that, etc."
And the next day? I do the same thing. Is this how life is? Is this what everyone goes through? I want to try someting new. I want to drive down a road I've never been on without worrying about what won't get done while I'm doing that.
And yet, any one of those things would be something I'd miss if it wasn't a part of my day. Can I file an extension?
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11 comments:
I feel the same way. You described it perfectly. For me, when I'm doing something, it's hard not to think of all the other things I could be doing. Eeck. Such is life, I guess.
True true.
I have learned through hard experience... having to do it yet a gain on May 1... there are no obligations only choices. If each day, you stop and reexamine all your "obligations" and make a conscious choice, then many of your obligations revert back to their original nature of fun or fulfilling or what have you. If you don't want to play critters anymore, then don't.
"But then my FAKE flowers will die!" you protest vociferously.
So? It's a game. If you find you miss it, then it is no longer an obligation and you can always hit restart.
However, I am NOT saying this conscious reevaluation is easy. I am the Queen of Skewed Perception and often make mistakes. How do you know when you are making a series of incorrect choices for YOU? Your level of satisfaction with life starts sliding like the housing market and you find yourself underwater.
(How's that for beating a simile to death... yeah I'z edumacated and can tell the difference between a simile and a metaphor...)
Tomorrow... happy choice-making!
As an aside... children never angst over this kind of stuff. If they don't want to do something. They don't. In response, we carefully and thoroughly beat the concept of guilt into them. Not all things senile start in your 70's and 80's.
Also very true. I've thought about this a lot lately. I keep asking myself, "Is this still fun?" And it is, but I think that after my vacation in July, I'll be a little more easily convinced that I don't need it anymore.
Yup...
I know exactly how you feel! I have never suffered from insomnia and have often wondered why people complain about it... sounds like a wonderful chance to have a few hours to myself to do the things I want to do. (Apologies to insomniacs)
The key word here is right where you started "Before work","after work", "driving to work". Work! Work! Work! It sucks!
I'm disabled now and those days are over for me now. I may be broke and living on a small income but I couldn't be happier not plagued with getting up and going to a boring, useless, piece of shit job that barely pays the bills anyway.
I envy the fact that you don't have to go to work. I don't mind going to work, honestly. I might hate on my job from time to time, but it's not that bad. That is, when they pay me.
You could almost have been reading my mind. I always feel I should be doing something all the time and feel guilty if I'm not. Pesky childhood conditioning I guess.
Yup. And, really, there are times when I want to be reading or writing or just sitting outside, but I can never elax because a litany of guilt and obligation keeps running through my head.
Oy vay! I had to break myself of my addiction to playing that damn game. My flowers are long gone now, lol.
Make a list of the things you want to do then, take a day when you're not working or call out sick, get dressed and forget everything else and do them. ....Except for like feeding your cat...don't forget to do that. :-p
Yeah, he gets pretty testy if you forget to feed him, the little fattycakes.
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