*ahem* Mrow. Is this thing on?
Oh, good. Listen. Mom stepped out for a minute...maybe he's bringing me food? Hi. I'm Marbles. You might know me as the fat kitty in the chair. I think that's what Mom calls me. Mrow. I'm a little hungry. Does anyone have some food? I don't want--wait...was that a wrapper crinkling? Oh, no...just my tail brushing some junk off the bed. Why do they put all their stuff on the best places to sit? The food room table is always cluttered. Behind the picture box thingy is full of cords, and whenever I get on the counter where all the delicious dishes are, they both yell at me. Mom wakes up from a sound sleep if she hears me get up there. It's how I get him out of bed some mornings when I can't find his glasses to chew on.
What was I going to say? Oh, right. Food. Does anyone have any food I could have? As you can see, I'm wasting away to nothing. A kitty needs his strength, and I'm almost too tired to yowl at the top of my lungs and race around the house today. Mom doesn't appreciate my singing, especially when she's asleep. But as long as I stay an arm's length away from him, then I can do whatever I want. Then he calls me naughty kitty and sends Dad after me.
And Dad...oh man...he flips me over and rubs my belly. He puts me on his shoulders to ride around. He pries my lips apart and looks at my "little teefers," whatever those are. But he gives me cheese...so I let him. I bite Mom when Mom does it, because he's always telling Dad to stop giving me food, since I'm so fat. It's muscle, I swear! I just wish it wasn't so hard to clean my belly and feet. I lick and lick and lick, and then I'm all out of breath so I sigh. Mom laughs at me. Dad starts cooing and picks me up to rub my belly that I JUST CLEANED!
It's hard living with Mom and Dad...especially when I'm so hungry all the time. Does anyone have any food?
How does Mom usually end these things?