Thanks to everyone who commented yesterday. I appreciate the advice.
We did that unhealthy white people thing where he comes home and we pretend it didn't happen. I eventually got an apology (Sorry I made you mad.), so that's good. I probably shouldn't have gotten so offended, true.
But we're fine.
And more importantly, he got his bandages off and staples removed at his check-up appointment yesterday. We didn't even know he had staples in there. He still has to wear the brace, but at least now he can ACTUALLY SHOWER! Not that he can bend to reach his feet while balancing on one leg in a slippery shower...details, details.
So, one fight behind us, one antiseptic-yellowed leg, and one less pound of bandages later, all is well.