Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Flop...

So, I tried to be a good boyfriend yesterday.

Fail.

I took the laundry to do it, because I knew Robb wouldn't be getting home until after 7, and he wouldn't want to go do it then. Since he's coming home late every day this week because of physical therapy, I thought it would be nice.

So I did that with no incident. Washed, dried, folded. And, of course, it was raining when I finished. It eatiher rains or snows EVERY TIME we do the laundry. I wish I were exaggerating here, but it's true. It's the strangest thing.

Anywho, then he calls me and I told him I did the laundry. And we decided I could put a pizza in the oven before he got home so that dinner could be ready when he arrived. I was being a good boyfriend. And if you know me, you know I don't really cook much. I just can't multitask in the kitchen, with the candlestick. What? Oh, right...

So, I burned the pizza, EVEN THOUGH I put it in for LESS than the time the box called for.

Now I felt like an idiot for not even being able to cook a frozen pizza right. Even with instructions on the box. Fail.

And then I got mad, because apparently I have the emotional range of a nine-years-old boy. I just felt ashamed that even when I tried really hard to do things right, they still suck. So I threw an oven mitt at the counter. Now, Robb hates it when I throw things...and I'm a thrower. I always have been (just ask my mother's collection of stuff-that-isn't-quite-whole-anymore...). It's where I go when I'm angry, and it makes me feel better.

It's not right, but it's who I am.

So then he was mad. And now it doens't matter if I'd carved Lincoln's face on Mt. Rushmore into a likeness of the boy, I still felt like a failure as a good boyfriend. Ugh.

And the mood persisted all night. Ruined.

Sometimes, even when I try really, really hard to be a good boyfriend, I fail. Fabulously.

Out

11 comments:

A human kind of human said...

Don't try so hard! When I try hard I always fail. When I just do something, it usually works out right, but I know what you mean about feeling like a failure; I think we all do sometimes so it is OKAY... just being human!

All Is Fair said...

Yeah, i get this feeling. Sigh.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

I'm glad someone understands where I'm coming from.

Stan said...

Don't ever go by the directions on the box. You have to keep an eye on the oven when it's heating up the pizza. Aw don't feel bad. I'm a thrower too. I can remember heated battles with my partner over that. I just couldn't control myself sometimes. I'm a lot like you in that I make a very big deal out of nothing sometimes. Hope you feel better soon and things improve with the bf.

Argent said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. The thing is you tried to do something good and frozen pizza is no respecter of pwrsons.I'm more of a slammer than a thrower myself - as the marks on my desk will testify, where that which has offended me has met its wnd. Not proud of it, mind you.

Adorably Dead said...

Don't feel so badly. Atleast he has clean clothes not a total failure. And I'm somewhat of a thrower too....and a yeller...and a cusser...and a slam my hand on the tabler/waller/any flat surface near me-er. lol.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

I see I'm in good company! Thanks, all, for the love.

Kathy said...

You want to come do my laundry? Burned pizza notwithstanding, I'd be mighty grateful!

This sounds like there is something else going on. You are focusing on symptoms not the disorder.

What? You're not good enough to be a perfectionist?!

Viewtiful_Justin said...

I'm sure the feelings of being a failure go much deeper than just pizza. I'm working a part time job and barely getting by. I'm twenty-six. I should be doing more than this.

Blah blah blah. It's all pretty cut and dried.

Melissa said...

Don't be so hard on yourself! You sound like a good boyfriend to me, burned pizza and all!

Dav said...

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I would love to get you on my couch sometime (chair, papasan, whatever) and hash through some of this with you. You beat yourself up a lot, and I from personal experience I know it does no good hear "Don't be so hard on yourself!"