I was reading the blog of someone much wiser and more comfortable in their own skin than I am (Davey Wavey, for anyone who cares) this morning. Today he told me that I shouldn't say "should".
At first, I thought, "What is this new-age crap?" I was picturing a parent sitting their child in a chair and saying, "Mommy doesn't like it when you hit her in the face with your toy trucks..."
But he says that "should" implies guilt and failure. As in, "I should go ride my bike, since it's so lovely out today!" or "I shouldn't have eaten that second tuna salad sandwich."
Makes sense. He says that negative feelings don't help to foster an environment where we can grow and change for the better. It's not encouraging. It's punishment. We can't change what we "should have" done. It's in the past. Why worry about it?
So there's that. I've put a post-it on my wall to remind me.
Smart guy, that Davey Wavey.