So, I pulled my camera out of my bag and took the battery out, poked around at the insides with a paper clip, poked at some contacts and junk...nothing I hadn't done before...and I said a little prayer (also not something I hadn't done before) and Beep boop boop beep, IT TURNED ON!!!
Sweet mother of chins; it's alive!!!
See? Happy thoughts DO bring things back from the dead!
4 hours ago