It's Top 5 Tuesday again, folks! This week: elevators, celebrities, awkward tension! Yes, yes, yes. Have you ever been on an elevator with someone you know, perhaps someone you absolutely adore, but you're not quite sure you know that they'd remember you? Or maybe you're sure they have no idea who you are. Either way, you want to badly to strike up a conversation, to be clever and witty and most of all charming, but you know you'll fall flat on your face if you open your mouth?
This week's dedicated to you!
I bring you my list of the Top 5 People With Whom I'd Love to Share an Awkward Elevator Ride!
5) Jason Statham
This actor is on my list. You know, my LIST. The "you can have a freebie with this one an not get in trouble with the husband" list. So obviously I'd want to share an awkward elevator ride with him. What movie would I tell him I loved him in? The Italian Job? That's the one I fell in love with his accent in. The Transporter? Just plain hot. Or would I just stand there next to him in the back staring as he talked to someone on the phone, listening and trying to discreetly take his photo...or his shirt off...whichever.
4) Whoopi Goldberg
Now this is one of those I'd just like to be intelligent with. I want to talk to her, to make her laugh. I love her laugh! I'd probably stand there next to her. She'd turn to glance at me and nod a little, sharing the awkward moment where she wondered if I was going to talk to her while I wonder the same thing. And then as the doors opened and she walked off I'd just go, "I love you, Whoopi!" and she'd wave a hand in the air as she walked away to say, "I know."
3) The Queen of England
I mean, really...who wouldn't want to take a ride on an elevator with her? She would stand there, the picture of poise and grace, and I wouldn't be able to help but blow a big fart as silently or as loudly as I could and watch her try to retain her poise as she smells day old White Castle burgers wafting gently about the small space. How could you not want to watch her sniff and wrinkle her nose?! Trust me...those things have the power to destroy anyone's perfect veneer.
You know who I'm talking about! (And if you don't...YouTube them right now.) The men and women of stomp with their brooms and trash can lids would make AWESOME elevator partners! They clatter almost silently on the walls and floor, building to a crescendo and then blasting off into a routine that completely surrounds you and makes it seem like the elevator might come crashing down at any moment with the noise and excitement, and then the doors open and everyone walkes off silently like nothing ever happened.
1) Adam Levine
The lead singer of Maroon 5 is also on my LIST. This is one of those times I'd be peeing myself in the elevator trying not to SQUEEEEE so loudly that he thinks I'm some stupid fangirl. But really...I'm a stupid fangirl. Their music, I dig. Their lead singer, though...he's just sex on legs. Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to keep my hands to myself. Whoops! I slipped and hit the stop button. Whoops! I fell over. Whoops! I have a restraining order. He's number one on my LIST and the number one person I'd love to share an awkward elevator ride with.
There yo have it, folks! Another week down and another list exposed--perhaps too literally this time...But anywho, I'm sure I'll be back next week with another list, and remember, I'm always taking suggestions for ideas you'd love to see on Top 5 Tuesday! Keep them coming.
The first moments of silence.
7 hours ago