I Don't Normally Write Rhymes...

12.29 Tattle Tail

A little girl went padding by

a little twinkle in her eye

as if she found a treasure bright

or made it dryly through the night

and with this gleam she did draw near

her mother without shame or fear

and from a place in her far south

she opened up her ugly mouth

revealing rows of jagged teeth

just like a blood-ringed pearly wreath

and from her fat back without fail

there sprouted there a tattle tail

this scaly switch that grew so quick

stretched itself then gave a flick

as if to portend things unsaid

things she was to soon unbed

so from her nasty mouth-cave came

a proclamation to her fame

that someone wronged her moments past

their anonymity—it could not last

when such a voice cannot be kept

under the covers where it slept

it simply must bust forth to call

about the place this blame should fall

and point the fingers at a friend

or enemy if this that ends

no matter what the consequence

she simply must tell someone hence

her mother nods and thanks the girl

with bloodstained face and crooked pearls

and turns to us—our smiles fail

“She likes to be a tattle-tale.”

###

12.30  Bag of Nickels

If I could count the miles

that have passed underneath

this passenger seat

while I sing and he listens

take that tally sheet 

to the bank and cash in

shiny nickels for each

the sack I’d have to bring with

could never again be moved 

by any number of human hands

and yet I would still be less inclined

to move once more into that same seat

for any more trips

no matter the length

or necessity of such things

and that bag of nickels could sit.

###

12.31  New Year’s Eve

Her scissors severed everything

that was keeping me tied

to this year of injury

turns of ankle and fate

bruised monogamy and skin

expectations of employment

or any sense of enjoyment

of this misery that ends tonight

it now lies in a black bag

awaiting the landfill

where in a better time 

different place

it might become something soft

and beautiful to couch

perhaps

a nesting egg

the pride a mother would guard

with her very own life.

###

Out

Thoughts on Christmas...

12.25  Christmas Aria

All the greatest gifts

under the worlds tallest tree

festooned with every garland

that God ever made

could never make up the gap

that fell between us today.

###

12.26  Christmas Duet

And yet, 

your face pulls me into orbit

once again leaving me

dangling here like a mobile

ornament in this wasteland

of paper and bows.

###

12.27  Daddy’s Gonna Kill Ralphie

Those sonsabitches

Bumpasses

flashed across the glass

in three rooms

for twelve hours

must have seen the damn thing

seventeen times

and still

I’d turn it on in a second

just to see that boy

under the sink

and the doom in his eyes

all solved

by a mother and her milk.

###

Out

Presented Without Comment...

12.16  Break

He stared at me 

from across the kitchen

startled from under my feet

and confused at my fall

at the crash

at the shards of porcelain

that spread out from

the point of impact

like some parking-lot comet

at the world’s least impressive mall

and only one person on the staff

responsible for addressing the Christmas cards

and issues of safety and cleanliness 

like this broken water dish

and the small tabby paws 

that might not wish to find

a tiny dagger of what was

lodged in his favored kneading paw.

###

12.17  Lapham Service Hall

This foggy village

clogging my arteries

veins choked with pedestrians

lingers after clear day breaks

from the concrete of sky

and leaves everyone 

breathless

smiling

but between the supermarket

aisles and the library 

stacks a whole world of

mistrust and loss linger

words of hope in corners

where a rough breeze has

deposited them

no interest

no rollover

and in the town square

a squire

shouts proclamations never meant

for public consumption

though he can’t see a single soul

which belongs to the footfalls

echoing from town hall

to the trailer park

ignoring the dripping foliage

that shivers inside

this red cage.

###

12.18  Broken Habit

This discarded square

sliced from life’s grid

and tossed aside

in favor of something

with more impact

more clout

more

and glued up days later

with a wish and a wad

of spearmint gum

complete with filling

unmoored like habit

of posting

writing

sharing

and talking.

###

12.19  Don’t Say It

Your name on the lips

of other men might draw

a glance but nothing more

and yet

coming from this mouth

could start a war

no matter how mangled

the misspeech.

###

12.20  Entropy

Through the broken blinds

hanging askew in this winter haze

fog fingering bare limbs

leaving the slimy trail

of intentions ill thought

and consequences parked

across the street

like a flower delivery van

that stays for days

until everything inside must be wilted

and the floor littered with petals

that drop

from he loves me not

he loves me

he loves me not

despite everything I ruin

in his name

and in the name of years

passing on this landing

of the world’s longest staircase

and where in God’s name

is the food court in this mall?

###

12.21  Lament

Words

words

words

never mine

and certainly not his

are the carpet

of this cell

I have built

screwing in bars until

the complete circle

leaves nothing unbroken

by a sight of iron

which does nothing to cut

the wind that steals

every hope from my mouth.

###

At the Cafe...

Something born of my time at the cafe where our writing group meets...

12.15  The Regular

This stretch of fabric

straining pull

of eyes to skin marked

ink peeks and I sneak glances

taking chances while your eye

wanders back again

computer screen latches

face to glass you bend

shirt extends and ends

strip of skin and one line

drawing in deep

I creep a look 

that spine a book

and I curating a museum

hooked on nuance

I steal from you at no cost

except the growing notion

that this ocean separating

our two bodies might not be

quite as deep now

as comfort might allow.

###

Out

Away...

If feels nice to get away from the same old cares.  This one is a vacation for me.  Nothing serious.  Nothing even remotely [word].  My brain is broken.

12.13  For Gloria

You tell me to get up

and also to make it happen

but without the sole-shaped cut outs

I haven’t a place to start

yet you moves on

imploring me to get up

to move oh a oh

and to stand from my spot

it will not happen, señorita,

the involuntary rise from chair

to miraculous movement

orchestrated by your words

like possession

like the rhythm, in fact,

did what it threatened to do

and made it happen

it’s not that I don’t appreciate

the encouragement and suggestion

but lady, today is a day for sitting

and you are not helping the cause.

###

Out

After the Funeral...

12.12  For Naomi

You waved from the frosted window

as you passed with flashers on

just a link in the funereal chain

and I knew that you at least

would break ten years of silence.

I just never realized you might 

break our hearts in the process.

“You can say hello to your father,”

and I dared to shake his hand.

Instead, he pulled me in to him

wrapped his arms around me

and broke my notions of my father

in that moment I was genuinely

sorry for his loss.

###

Out

Not a Rant...

I wanted to rant about my fourteen hour day yesterday waiting on the gas company to fix a leak and turn us back on.  But.  It all seems so ridiculous this morning in the light of other things that came to light yesterday.  This is a result of all of that wreckage.

12.9  What Really Matters

Rage feels silly after waking

from dreams of family scuffles

at the funeral-to-be

when that paper dragon

melts

leaving obscene paper scraps

scattered across the front lawn

and standing in its place

the real deal

chuffing brimstone

and throwing the fallen snow

upwards in a perversion

of natural ways

that simply shouldn’t be.

###

Out

Pay Day...

In anticipation of my disappointment of a paycheck, although it didn't start out to be about that.  Clearly my failings are on my mind.

12.6  Pay Check

Belief brings action

but what action is for having

except that which decays

in the light of another day

spent making people happy

under the eyes of a god

with the power to cast you

out and down

away from what is known

and loved and familiar

into that cold grey 

miasma of the market

unsure of whether what is sold

is an opportunity

or just another mirage

designed for crushed hopes

and the latest thing to disappoint

when truth comes knocking

with its hand clenched

around a two figure pay check.

###

Out

Eleven Hours...

This was written yesterday BEFORE I spent eleven hours fighting with customer support to get my new phone working.  It's a product of rage and nothing more.

12.5  Tech Support

My furnace blazes red

without heat

burning fuel I can’t pay for

without result

all because this metal

and plastic and glass

and iconography

refuses my advances

my touch drives it away

my voice turns its stomach

and inside is nothing but ice

refusing to meet me at the surface

yet here I sit under your gaze

poking and prodding at

this box of nothing

which refuses to respond.

###

Out

Reboot...

I decided I need a place to put things, a place to display creations without fear of consequence.  No one will ever see anything I create if I don't get over this fear of looking stupid.  So my poem a day habit might finally have a place here.  And if no one reads it, that's just the same as if I kept it to myself anyway.  And if people read it and have nothing to say, same deal.

I don't know what the purpose of this place is any more.  I'm trying to find one.

12.4  Ration

This late March mist

of melted snow

clings to trees and glass

and falls like wasted soldiers

three months early

for that meal they needed

in order to survive

another day in the trenches.

###

Out

Today...

12.3  Eyes

Be careful what words grow

in the garden of your white space

child

or the men will come to you

with plates empty and eyes full

hungry for something you don’t offer

rearranging you to fit them

their insecurities like a new dress

you struggle to throw off

but with so much taffeta

so much lace

the only thing you can do is acquiesce.

###

Out

They're Back...

Yesterday my favorite band released their first CD in ten years.  They broke up.  They went their separate ways.  And all their fans prayed and prayed for them to do a reunion tour.  And then...it happened.  They got back together.  Wrote a new album.  Kickstarter was the vehicle, and their fans drove it home in 52 minutes.

Now Five Iron Frenzy's new album The Engine of a Million Plots is on my stereo.  And Reese Roper's voice brings me to tears like it did ten years ago.  He doesn't even have to be singing about anything...just hearing it is a fucking miracle.

I wasn't sure I'd still love them after ten years away from something new, but...oh man.  I shouldn't have ever doubted.  I don't know the songs.  I just know the sound, and it is glorious.

Out

Blog Post #550...

After NaNoWriMo I'm left with this desire to create.  I'm also left with an unquenchable hunger I can't quite place.  Something lower than stomach.  But nothing seems to fill it up.  So I look around at old parts of my life and the things that surround me and try to stitch something together.  It feels like summer, out of place in this snow, with all the fear and dread of winter approaching at the edges of everything.  And without an explanation, it's left to grow and become something else.  Something confusing and dangerous and possibly animal.  The glances are more than that.  The conversations are beacons I'm not supposed to see.

And I start letter after letter I never intend to send, trying to say something to someone that might mean something.  That might take me somewhere.  But I'm left in this dead end, unable to turn around.  My own private cul-de-sac.  An eternity of clapboard and lawn gnomes and the trappings of a home.  A life growing up around me.  Maybe it's just thirty, finally claiming its piece of my heart and mind.  Maybe it's wanderlust, emphasis on the latter half.  Maybe it's just plain old boredom trying to seem like something else, something profound and healthy, something powerful enough to move me past whatever this feeling is.

Whatever it is, it's left me restless and craving, and writing something here for who-knows to see.  Probably no one.  For the five-hundred and fiftieth time.

Out

Well...

I got fired today.

If you need me, I'll be in the tub.

The Sequel...

So then I get called in to talk to the head of the HR department for not being happy about being lied to and talked about behind my back.  No.  Really.  They told me to get happy or get fired, basically.

Fuckers.

So now I'm job hunting.  I'll take another crappy part-time job.  I just have to get the hell out of this fucking nut house.

Out

Lately...

Lately I've been having doubts.

Let's go back.  A month or more ago I heard that one of our full-time tellers was leaving the bank.  I alerted the relevant parties that I was interested in her position, since I'm part-time.  There was only one other person at our branch who would have been more qualified for the job than I am.  She told me she didn't want the job.  Wasn't going to apply.

Shoo-in.

So I waited.  And her last day approached.  It's still approaching, actually.  And I didn't hear anything.  And I wondered if maybe they were just going to break it up into part-time positions.  And I told friends and others that if I wasn't hired for it, I would be quitting, because if they aren't going to hire me when I'm so obviously qualified and interested, then they never would and I could stop waiting around for that.

Finally, I got an email last Wednesday from the head of HR at the bank asking me to call her.  So I did. I figured, "Hey, good news, finally!"

"The position has been filled."  By my best friend at the bank.  The one who told me she wasn't even interested and wasn't going to apply for it.  And I was furious.  Still am, actually.

And I'm having doubts about my future.  Like...in general.  Right now, I just want a different life.  I'm not happy.  My routine is dull.  My prospects for the future are fairly bleak.  And I'm just tired of everyone around me and all the bullshit every second of every day.

I'm turning into my father.  And if you know me, you can guess my opinion about that fairly easily.  He's a miserable old fuck who doesn't like anyone or any thing but himself.  And everyone else is a stupid asshole, a fucking idiot, or some other colorful epithet that stops him from having to deal with life in the same way as any normal person.

I don't want to be that miserable old fuck.  But I can feel myself scabbing over and losing the desire to participate in anything at all anymore that isn't strictly comfortable and easy.

Miserly.

It's coloring my conversation, my relationship, and definitely my attitude about work, especially right now.  And there doesn't seem to be very much light at the end of this particular tunnel.

Even just writing this feels like something people will roll their eyes at and go, "More of this?  Is he ever happy anymore?"

And even writing that feel like more of the same.  I just need...something...a long walk by myself...and change.

Out

from "American Wedding" by Essex Hemphill

"Every time we kiss we confirm the new world coming..."

Out

Eh...

I'm fucking exhausted.  Can I quit?  Great.  I quit.

Out

Take a Moment...

Stop.


No, seriously.  Slow down.


I know your eyes scan these words on the way to things that have to be done today.  You are racing from one thing to the next.  Just take a moment.  Slow down.


Stop here.


Breathe.  Deep breath.  Just one.  In...........Out...........


Now.  Doesn't that feel a little better?  

Out

How My Brain Works...

On Monday of last week, I weighed 164.4 lbs.  Same on Tuesday.  Wednesday, I weighed myself to find I was at a lower weight than I had been in years.  I thought to myself, "Hm.  All this eating right and working out are actually working for me!"

So I tried to be good this weekend.  I had one drink on Saturday, one on Sunday, and when we went out to eat, I took half of my meal home.  I even resisted the urge to drink far too much homemade Irish Creme (so delicious...so thick)!  I told some of my coworkers that my goal was for the scale to show the same or smaller number than it did on Friday, since I always gained weight on the weekend.

Friday:  163.2

Monday:  161.8

And here's where the title of this blog comes in.  That's OBVIOUSLY not from my handiwork, at least in my own mind, because what did I do?  I made little decisions and didn't even exercise...like...we usually take walks after meals, and it rained on both attempts we made.  So...WTF?  And me, poor little old me, starts to think.

Do tumors weigh less than other tissue?  Maybe I have some kind of disease and my body is slowly dissolving from the inside.  Maybe it's just all my muscle (as if there's much of that...) leaving in a huff...I mist be sick.  I can't have possibly lost two pounds this weekend...because...that would mean...

What?  That eating better actually helps?  That being a little smart and conscious about what goes in my body might actually lead to shedding some of this spare tire?  That I don't have a suspicious wasting disease?

And I know I'm not fat.  But I also know I'm not satisfied with the way my body looks.  So...all that aside...no discussion there.

You guys...my brain is stupid.  Like...terminal-disease-instead-of-hard-work-paying-off stupid.  Either that or I'm dying.

Out

Nothing to Say...

You ever try to transcribe an inner life?  Like...to write out what is going on inside you?  Virginia Woolf made a very successful career out of it.  But I can't seem to make it happen.  I suppose one must have a very real and concrete sense of what is going on inside them if they plan to put it on a page.  Maybe that's my problem.  

Not sleeping.  No appetite.  I've been here before.  

Yesterday a lady at work offered me a donut.  Doughnut.  From a local bakery.  My stomach flipped over inside me at the thought of it.  Progress, I say!  "I'd rather eat the pear I brought."  And for once, it was actually true.  Maybe I'll lose my middlecakes.  That'd be the li'l band of blub that rings my middle...probably from cake.  But not eating offered pastry?!  That's scary!  New!  Who knows...maybe those dreams where I find running to be a fun and exhilarating experience will come true and I'll be set.  

Although...this bum shoulder I've had since March is stopping me from doing ANY kind of shoulder-related exercise, which means no chest exercise...which, vain as it sounds, it actually really bumming me out.  I want a chest, damnit.  More than an eleven-years-old girl!  

Well...I might have a full-time position at my branch of the bank come August 1st...and if not, guess I'm job hunting again.  Seriously.  If they split it into two part-time positions (again), I'll flip my shit.  What bank needs twelve tellers?!  But I've got the seniority at my branch as far as part-timers go...so I should be first in line.  Anywho...all that is to say that I might finally have insurance.  I might finally be able to go get my shoulder looked at.  See what the deal is.  Have done with this friggin' ridiculousness.  

We can dream, right?  Alright...off to do dishes and play some Animal Crossing...and work on my jigsaw puzzle...and maybe play some Far Cry 3, since I haven't finished my game for the month...running short on time!

Out

Poem a Day With This Little Gay...

Not that I'm going to be sharing them here, almost entirely because blogging poems here makes publishability questionable.  But I just wanted to throw out there that my document is at 10,700 words exactly.  April 1st to today.  I've written 50,000 words in a month before...but still.

Out

On Father's Day...

I remember when I found out you were stalking my blog.  Crowbait in my visitor's feed caused me pause, and a few clicks led me to pages and pages of vitriol aimed at me, what I had written, and how I was disappointing you in every way you could think of.

Part of me was flattered, as sick as that sounds, that someone had spent so much time and energy looking at the words I had written and writing their thoughts.  What hurt was that you called me worthless, said that you wanted to cut my limb from the family tree, and misinterpreted everything I wrote about you.

Which somehow sounds familiar.  Hm.  That's a disturbing thought.

Onward.

So I wanted you to know how I truly felt.  I wrote something that couldn't be misconstrued, misinterpreted, or misread in any way.  And you responded.  Wanted me to change my name.  Sounded happy to be rid of me.  We divorced.  Good riddance.

"It's the hardest thing in the world, being your son."

You crashed your motorcycle, spent a few days in the hospital.  You bought a houseboat, so I heard.  Moved to the Mississippi River in a house with no electricity.  Live on a boat.  Mostly.  Pirate dad.  And now I fight for my brother's time, coveting the hours he's in town, counting the days we have left before he escapes West.

So forgive me for not celebrating.  For the tenth time.

Out

Rule Number 34...

As soon as you restart your blog, things will happen in you life that you can't talk about in general public.

Out

New Pork Chronicles: Day Three...

Ahoy-hoy!  So...let me break it down for you.  Life isn't as interesting as Animal Crossing right now.  Proof is at the end of the post.  So what's going on?  I'm meeting my neighbors, like Queenie.

I can't quite get a read on her personality...is she cool?  Is she prissy?  I feel like she could secretly hate me.  She does like Snake, though.  They have something going on...

He even told me about it when he came to see my house.  Nevermind the clutter...I'm kind of a hoarder.  That beard ran me 8,000 bells!  But HAD TO HAVE IT!  Who knows when it'll show up again.  That rainbow screen?  I took a chance to connect to the internet to see if there was a git floating around out there and VOILA!  Present.  And this right after I replaced my town flag with a rainbow flag.  Apropos.

But Snake and Queenie most assuredly have something between them.  They talk about each other all the time, which kind of freaks me out.  I hate to tell them it'll never work.  He's a morning person, and she's not at all.

Anywho...besides following the relationships of digital animals, I REPAID MY LOAN!  Bigger house tomorrow.  Whee.  More room to keep my crap!

In real life?  Oh...I cheated on my hair stylist.  She told me I couldn't get a #1 guard on the sides several times, and I knew it would look good.  So...bam.  I chose someone else.  And...I'm happy as hell with how it turned out!  That's the most exciting thing that's happened to me.

Viewtiful_Justin...Out...

The Gut Reaction of Nintendo's E3 Direct Presentation...

I took some time today to watch the Nintendo Direct presentation that started at 9 and lasted...oh...45 minutes, tops.  Seemed like about 30 seconds, to be honest.  Honest reactions?  Glad you asked:

Pre-show thoughts:

Hope it's more Iwata that Reggie.  I'd even take Bill Trinen's vacant eyes over Reggie's moist lips, huge  flat face, and so, so calculated hand gestures.  Please!

Hope to see new Wii U Mario in the spirit of Galaxy, more Lint to the Past 2 coverage, footage of Smash Bros with one surprise character (that is NOT Bayonetta!), and an announcement that the Pikmin 3 release date was a joke and it's hitting stores tomorrow.

What's Reggie's terrible meme-based joke going to be this year?

Sure to see more Yoshi Yarn, Mario and Luigi Dream Team, and Game & Wario.

My big dream, though?  Some kind of video or news of some sort regarding the new Wii U Zelda game.  Fat chance...

###

How did I do?  Well, I was wrong about ALMOST everything.  It was all Iwata.  We got new Mario, but not in the spirit of Galaxy.  There WAS Smash Bros video WITH two--TWO!--new character announcements.  There were no bad jokes from Reggie...nothing at all from him, really.  And all the things I was so sure of?  Didn't see ANY of it.

If you want to know, for real, what went through my head, here goes nothing:

###

9:00 - The countdown ended.  Where's my video?  WTF?!  Hope I'm not missing anything...

9:02 - Hello?  Flashing elipses?  Where's Iwata-san?  Is it late?  Should I refresh?

9:03 - Refresh.  Search Kotaku for link...maybe I'm on the wrong page...Nope.  Links back to the page I am already on.  Hope I didn't lose my spot in the queue...

9:05 - WHERE IS MY IWATA?!  Check Twitter to see tweets about new 3D Mario game...and Pokemon something...I AM missing it!!  WTF?!

9:06 - Refresh again, confident I missed EVERYTHING!  THERE'S IWATA!  AND CHESPIN!  My starter!

9:07 - Video froze...fairy-type Pokemon?

9:08 - Buffering.  Switch to low quality.  Still shitty.  SO FRUSTRATING!!

9:10 - This.  Blows.  Oh...there we go.  October 12th for Pokemon X&Y.

Ah!  New Mario!  Peed my pants.  Guess I'll have to sit with peed pants for an hour.

Looks like new 3D Land...eh...what's that 3-star meter in the corner?  Angry Birds?

CAT MARIO?!  YES!!!!!!

Luigi.  PEACH!  TOOOAAAAD!!!!  Oh...wait...PEACH!!!  Hooray, she floats!  Finally.  Multiplayer.  Rob'll be SO BAD at this.  What system?

9:15 - CATS!!  Oh...Super Mario 3D World.  Makes sense, I guess.  I hate the awkward naming system they've adopted...

Not a fan of the clear pipes...they lose something...

CHARGIN' CHUCK!!

New goombas are UGLY!

Also...they added a score counter back.  Online leaderboards, perhaps?

9:16 - Mario Kart 8?!  DAISY!  "Yay Tom!"

9:18 - Computer reads mind when I think, "High quality would look so pretty, but I'm not sure I want to switch and lose my video feed stability...not that it't that stable now..." and the video switches to high quality by itself.  O_o

Fun.  I'm reminded that I hated the Wii one, but loved 7.  This looks more like 7.  It's no Double Dash, but it looks great!  Like...Galaxy Kart with the anti-gravity thing...

9:20 - Iwata can't quite get the hang of saying "multiplayer."  Mulletplayer.

The theme of this video should be "BUFFERING!"

9:21 - Wii Party U turns gamepad into tabletop arcade cabinet, sort of.  That's neat, but...eh.

9:22 - Video skips to Wii Fit U...hm...nap time.

9:23 - Art Academy Wii U?!  No?  Art Academy tools for Miiverse?!  This is awesome!  Well played, Nintendo!

Video skips past.  Damn.

9:24 - Iwata's tie knot is far too wide...is it a clip-on?

Wii U montage...pass...pass...pass...shoulder injury from Just Dance 3 leads me to pass on JD4...sour about Rayman Legends still...pass...superheroes...pass...pass...Spyro...pass...guns...pass...Sonic Galaxy...UGH.  Not a fan of Sonic.  At all--video skips, thankfully.  This is disorienting...

9:27 - eShop montage.  Lots of good things.  Scram Kitty?  SHOVEL KNIGHT!!  Um...penises?  Video skips...Ugh.

Wind Waker HD!  Hm...still not sure...but butterflies are in my stomach.  Drool.  Okay, I'm sold.  Day one for me.  Aryll crying out, "Brother!" still chokes me up...

9:30 - VIDEO SKIPS!  ARGH!!!  More HD Wind Waker...Video skips.  Tingle!  Wii U Tingle Tuner!  Nice!  Looking forward to sharing snapshots of WWHD on Miiverse!

Video skips.

Video dies.

9:31 - Video returns...Wonderful 101 looks awesome.  Iwata has trouble with "101."  Says, "One Whoa One."  Cute.

9:32 - New Game!  Donkey Kong on Wii U!  So pretty.  Want.  Vikings as enemies?  That's neat.  They're kind of an underutilized group of people in gaming.  DIXIE KONG!!!!  Donkey Kong Jungle Freeze.  That'll be my NaNoWriMo reward in November when it comes out.

9:35 - Bayonetta 2...nap time.  Why doesn't the video skip through this one?  Meh...was that thug kid supposed to be something?

Video skips.  Phew.

9:37 - Feet.  Monolithsoft.  Mechs?  I'm mot likely out.  Xenosomething?  A countdown clock?  Count me out for sure.  Majora's Mask taught me to avoid a game with a countdown clock...Xenosomething, I predict, will be a prequel to Xenogears.  Bets?  Looked pretty, but...eh.  Maybe not a prequel.  Sequel? Standalone?

9:40 - Last one?  SMASH...Crossing?  Ahhh!!!  Sooooo cute I have chills!

New art style?  Meh.  Oh...it changed...better!  Maybe the drawn style is on 3DS and the better one is on Wii U?  Bet that's it.

VIDEO FROZE!!!!  NO!!!  MISSING IT!!!!!

Final smash, maybe?  Can't tell because video is FUCKING FROZEN but the sound effects are neat...stupid video frozen on Mario's foot...2014.  Thanks, fuckers.

9:42 - New character!  Simon Belmont?!  No.  MEGAMAN?!  YES!!!!  Video frozen...NO!  DAMNIT!

9:43 - Crashed.  Saw a glimpse of what appeared to be Leaf Man's weapon?  Maybe?

Now it's offline entirely...

Off to Kotaku to watch trailers again without the skipping and buffering...fucking buffering...

###

After seeing the things I missed:  Is the Animal Crossing character playable?

OH!  I missed that entire portion of the video when it froze.  Sweet!  He IS playable.  Wonder if the girl will be one of his palette swaps.  New favorite character.

The Smash video seems to hint at a new Subspace Emissary-type subgame.  Sweet!

###

And that's pretty much it from me.  Can't wait til the Smash people start a drip-feed news site that I can stalk constantly for the next year and a half, because you KNOW 2014 means holiday for something like this.

Well...now we all just have to wait and see what happens.  EXCITING!

Out

Animal Crossing...Crossed Off!

Yesterday after work, I drove my little self down to GameStop and touched base with something I've been dreaming of having since it was announced--Animal Crossing:  New Leaf.

If you're unfamiliar with what this is...I don't want to oversell this...but...it's the most important thing to ever happen in the history of the Nintendo 3DS.  Maybe everything.  How can that be?  It's a real-time game where you move into a town full of animals and live your life.  As mayor.  You want to catch bugs and fish all day?  Fine.  You want to grow hybrid flowers?  Good luck!  You want to collect fossils and fine art, clothes and furniture, umbrellas and gems and all kinds of things?  You must be me.  

Seriously.  I'm such a whore for collecting things in video games.  It's a sickness.  Gotta catch 'em all.  

I moved into New Pork with my character, Trigg, who quickly was mistaken for being the mayor.  Two days in, I'm still settling into the TENT they gave me to live in while I wait for my house to be built.  Umm...a tent.  Some welcome!  

But I got one of my favorite neighbors in my town, as you can see:  SNAKE!  It's pretty awesome, considering the sheer number of animals that could have been there upon my arrival.  So...I'm obsessed.  Absolutely obsessed.  Call AA.  Or is it ACA?  Either way...I need a twelve-step program.

If you're keen on joining me, my friend code is up there.  Please share yours with me in the comments and let me know you've added me.  

Thanks, kids!  

Out

Getting to Know You...

I suppose, instead of just leaping back in to my day-to-day, I should tell you all a little about myself, so you don't have to go searching for it.

I'm currently 30, working at a bank as a teller, and engaged to my man of almost 7.5 years: Robb.  We have a 16lb. cat who is somewhere between 12 and 15.  We've been his boys for over three years now. We live in northern Illinois, where the summers are hot and the winters are cold, and he loves the cold and I love the hot.  So...there.

I wrote for my college newspaper while I was getting my Associates of Arts for journalism, and then I went on to get my Bachelor's of English.  That explains why I'm working at a bank.  Part-time.  Which might change soon.  Other than that, I write short fiction (very occasionally), I write a novel every year (I have completed seven; none are published), I've written four scripts, and I have been really into poetry as of late.  Since April 1st, I've written a poem every day.  Some good, some very bad.

In my free time, when I should be editing or something...I play video games.  I have a goal to complete one game each month from my backlog (or something).  I think I buy more than one a month, though...so I'm not really making progress toward finishing my backlog of games...but I'm having fun.  Also, I'm in love with music.  I'm easy to please, but there are certainly bands I loathe (Creed, Nickelback, Shania Twain...).  My favorites?  Ben Folds, Fitz & the Tantrums, Five Iron Frenzy, The Rolling Stones, and Andrew Bird, just to name a few.

I haven't decided what form this blog will take.  I've toyed with having a gaming blog.  I've played at having an online journal, of sorts.  And I've thought about publishing some of my writing here, but I decided against that for the most part, since publishing here sort of negates publishing for real somewhere else.

So...now you know me.  I'm kind of an open book, so if there's anything burning questions I've left unanswered, feel free to ask!

Out

Success! Or not...or maybe so!

This is what success look like!

Apparently the Google+ app can backup your photos, which allows for easy sharing on Blogger.  I finally figured that all out, and now you can see me on vacation in Florida.  This was the Sarasota Jungle Gardens, a tiny little bird sanctuary that houses a cockatoo that was on Ed Sullivan the same season as Elvis.  He's seventy-something.  This parrot is NOT that bird, obviously.  He's a jealously guarded old thing.

The main draw of the gardens is this:

Hm...apparently that success was short-lived.  Now all those glorious photos I had access to are missing.  What the fuck, Google?  What.  The.  Fuck.

Well...welcome to the frustration that occupies 90% of my waking life.  I'm so angry all the time...

Ugh.

I'm going to go before I punch something.

*****

They're back!  Okay...I don't know what's going on here, but...whatever.  Anyone else have an active distrust of all things technology-based?  I didn't used to...but frequent "upgrades" have left me wondering where the good stuff was moved to and if it still exists in a lot of places.

I am aware that I sound like a crusty old man.  I'm not.  But I'd be lying if I said that I saw "improvement" as just a sugar-coated way of saying "change" and sometimes even "changes that allow us to make more money without adding anything of use to you"...but...anywho...

That photo above is my man, hand-feeding a flamingo.  THAT is the main draw of the Sarasota Jungle Gardens.  There is a HUGE flock of them that just come stalking over when you get the feed out.  I had one tap me on the shoulder while I was standing.  They're THAT tall.  Kind of intimidating...but cool.

So...anywho...that was three weeks ago.  Welcome.

Out

The Big Deal...

See, the big deal about blogging for me has always been photos.  I love sharing the images I capture from day to day with the people who find their way here.  Unfortunately, after the OSX Lion update, I can no longer do that without 4 extra-tedious, extra-unneccesary, extra-user-unfriendly steps.  So I stopped.  I don't understand why I can't just upload a photo from iPhoto without having to save it as something else in another place than the iPhoto library.

For Apple, it makes no sense.  They're all about ease of use and common-sense interfaces.  This is absolutely NOT intuitive, and it's something no one seems to have a fix for.

So I'm trying really hard to find a way to be able to upload photos from my phone to Blogger.  After that, maybe I'll be back in force.

Until then, though...ugh.

Out

Don't Call It A Comeback...

I miss blogging.  I remember when every day was an adventure, and just throwing some photos and text together was all I looked forward to.  I couldn't wait to tell you all about my day, something I bought, or what some jerk said to me in passing that really stuck with me.

And then I stopped.  I felt like I couldn't be honest here anymore.  Things that I was saying were being misinterpreted in my personal life, and I was finding myself rethinking any story or image that was going up here.  Everything had to go through a filter of, "What am I going to have to say to make this one blow over?"  Not to mention, sometimes I had things up here that I had no idea could ever be a problem for anyone, and then I was blindsided with cold shoulders and attitude for something being read into a post that wasn't even there in the first place.

So I quit.  It was easier than putting up with the fallout.  And it wasn't really a conscious decision, honestly.  I just lost my passion for putting myself out there and not getting anything good in return.  For a few years I found a home on Tumblr at GamesWithBoys, but that's gone now, too.  Another case of not being able to post honestly anymore for fear of being policed.  So...I quit that.

I've been a Shyguy lately about everything that's going on in my life (not that there is much to talk about, which is another reason I stopped...after college there wasn't much excitement), and I'm going to be trying to change that.

I'm not sure what form this blog will take, or if it will take form at all, but I'm looking to start somewhere.  I need this kind of outlet in my life, for whatever reason.

Come along for the ride!

Out

I'm not dead...

I'm kicking around the idea of coming back here. You know, since everything goes to crap eventually...

Out