What do you do with a BA in English?
A friend was talking about working for Groupon at 30K+ a year. That's not too shabby. He didn't get the job, but...it's something.
Why am I talking about this? Oh, no specific reason...I'm just feeling a little useless lately. It's like, I went to college. I graduated summa cum laude. Top of my class. And what am I doing? Working part-time at a bank. Writing novels on the side. Not editing. I couldn't support myself if I needed to. If something happened to Robb, I'd be moving back in with my parents. I don't want to have to do that, because then I'd also be jobless. It wouldn't be worth it to drive an hour to work every day.
I have nightmares where I go back to Sullivan's...another grocery store job...and it's terrible. Everyone I know there has moved up in the company and I'm still a part-time cashier. I don't know where anything is. I don't know what to do. And I'm older than everybody, even my boss. Thank God it's only a nightmare. But, honestly, it could become a reality. God forbid.
I just...felt like I'd be doing more with my life at almost 30. I'll be 28 in April. I can't leave my job until July at the earliest, since I'm still paying for this computer. If I leave, I'd have to pay the remaining balance up front. Right now, that would be almost $700, I think. I don't have that.
I could move up, maybe, someday. I don't want to work at a bank all my life, though.
That begs the question, "What do you want to do?"
Own a bookstore. I want to be the owner of a used bookstore. I really do. It's a dream. Just a dream. Realistically? I don't know. I want to get paid to write. I want to do something that makes me feel smart again. I feel so dumb...and I feel like I'm getting stupider all the time. I need to go back to school. I figured I'd be through grad school and teaching college lit by now. I'm kind of glad I didn't take that route, since the economy went south and schools are STILL feeling the aftershock of all of that. But still...
Sorry. This is bleak stuff. I'm just looking at my life and thinking about change and how impossible it would be right now.
Just call me the news stand at the end of the world.