Wednesday, March 18, 2009

About Flying...

The boy and I are going on vacation in July. He's got a GIS conference, and his work is footing the bill for a hotel for a week. So we're taking two friends and flying out to San Diego to kill a week and a half gallavanting around the city.

I plan on visiting the Nucleus Gallery while I'm there. I also plan on getting my picture taken in front of the National City, California sign for personal reasons. But my itinerary is subject to change until then. What isn't subject to change is my uneasiness with flying.

I wouldn't say it's fear. Flying just turns me in to an extremely religious person for a few hours. Every bump in the jet stream sends me into fits of prayer. To put my mind at ease, I do this little activity.

The first chance I get, I go to the bathroom. On my way there, I scrutinize my fellow passengers, count the children, look for nuns, look for people that may be murderers or rapists or Republicans. And then I make a judgment call. If the cumulative morality of all the passengers around me seems higher than normal, I feel safe. I think to myself, "God couldn't possibly knock a plane full of so many innocent chuldren and pious nuns and Jews out of the sky." If it looks like a bunch of nasty people who might as well all burn in a plane crash, I'm not so easy.

And I know it has nothing to do with their appearance or how many kids are on the plane...I know that a plane full of children and nuns is just as likely to go down as any other. But it makes me feel better.

And that, friends, is how I fly.

Out

7 comments:

Emily said...

One could safely assume, however,that if the plane were NOTHING but Nuns and orphans and you guys (I say "orphans" because Nuns generally aren't mommies...) that the Rapture is coming.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Hm...well, I'd rather go that way than in a fiery crash...although if the pilots weren't saved, then we'd be good.

All Is Fair said...

Justin, this is a great plan! I never even thought of assessing the flight that way and now of course I will every time.

Mo said...

My last flight didn't get off to a good start. First it was one of thoses 777's that have had 2 planes crash recently. The airconditioning unit rained water all over me on take off. The windos rattled. The guy sitting next to me seemed to be praying a lot. Wasn't you was it?

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Ha! No. I haven't flown in years.

A human kind of human said...

You just had me in stitches. I hate flying (don't ask me why - I just do). I like your reasoning!

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Hey, I do what I can! Thanks for dropping in.