Monday, April 26, 2010

Today...

Today I'm supposed to hear from the last place with whom I interviewed. Perhaps an update will be forthcoming. If anything, it will be a second interview. If nothing, well, I guess I'll keep looking. As of the 23rd, it has been two months since I was fired. I've been on five interviews, walked out of a job fair nearly in tears (and puke), been offered one job buy a creepy pervert, met with one career counselor, updated my resume six times, written ten different cover letters, applied for at least ten jobs, and been declined for one job.

It's been a busy two months. Why don't I have a job yet?

Yesterday I had a mini panic attack in bed. It was one of those oh-my-god-I-only-have-one-life-and-its-a-quarter-of-the-way-over-and-I-have-nothing-to-show-for-it moments. I was freaking out about death and wondering what it would be like if nothing happened after you died. What does it feel like to be dead? To not feel anything? To cease to exist? I can't comprehend it. The church had BETTER be right about all that God stuff, otherwise? Well, I guess it won't matter. I won't care. I'll be dead. But it's a sobering thought that keeps me awake and really, really warm.

Blah.

Please allow me to sing for you. Gray skies are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face!

Out

7 comments:

PepeB said...

Mabe it's not quite appropriate for your situation, but in similar moments, I like to listen to "Everybody's is free to wear sunscreen" ...

Viewtiful_Justin said...

:-) Thanks for the suggestion.

Bryan Ochalla said...

Sorry you had a mini panic attack last night. I have one of those every once in a while myself. Ugh. Anyway, hopefully today -- and tonight -- are better for you in many ways.

Argent said...

I'm getting within spitting distance of 50 - think how I feel! I can't believe it's bee 2 months already, yikes. I'm reading a cracking book on that very subject called 'Sum' by David Eagleman. 40 little ideas about what it might be like. My most fave one is that we all end up as the cast in living people's dreams.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

HA! That would be the best thing EVER! I might have to use that idea in a novel at some point...

Jerry said...

"...one of those oh-my-god-I-only-have-one-life-and-its-a-quarter-of-the-way-over-and-I-have-nothing-to-show-for-it moments."

I experience that about once every two months. And in so doing, I find that baking for my friends helps greatly.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Thank you, Jerry! I really appreciate you stopping by! I've got a brownie mix in the cupboard...maybe I'll make some. I did have a dream last night that someone else made them while I was gone and they turned out really bad...